Just looking at this picture makes me want to punch Jessica Alba. You guys know I don’t like the little trick. And isn’t Rihanna getting old to anyone else? She’s so big and awkward. She reminds me of a robot you’d see in a really bad movie. A robot that Beyonce is insanely jealous of, that is.

Anyway, what could these two bitches possibly have to talk about? It probably went something like this:

Rihanna (totally being fake): Oh Jessica, you’re so beautiful in person!

Jessica: I know. And you’re so.. ethnic. [silence] I am pretty, aren’t I?

Get it? Because Jessica is a conceited little bitch? See? Okay anyway. More pictures of Rihanna and Jessica Alba at the Fendi store opening in Paris. Gee it must be hard to be famous.