I’ve always really despised that movie “Joe Dirt” because David Spade is annoying and mullets are white trash. Seriously, there were few things that bothered me as much as that movie did. But then Britney Spears shaved her head, wore wigs, got gross extensions, chewed off her fingernails, wore clothes and jewelery with the ‘f’ word on them, was photographed carrying Marlboro’s more than she was photographed carrying her two kids, made that sarcastic and annoying video about “finding Jesus” after going to rehab, and has disowned her mother. Now, not only does Paris Hilton news make me happy, but now I find myself watching Joe Dirt just so I don’t have to watch Britney Spears on E! all the time. She is just a mess, and there’s no nice way to put that. Sadly, it seems like she is just getting sloppier. She wrote an open letter on her website to the paparazzi, where she stated that she was only beating the crap out of a car with an umbrella because it was for a movie role. Uh-huh, yeah. I don’t remember hearing about a Crossroads Part II so I’m thinking she made that “movie role” thing up. Here’s what the disheveled pop star wrote:

I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a roll in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.

Umm, let me try my hand at this “open letter” stuff. “Dear Britney, Please stop being such a crazy ass. You need to buy a hat and take care of your kids. Love, Shelby.” Short and sweet. Sort of like her “comeback tour”, isn’t it? (Okay that was a bad and classless joke, but it was so easy I couldn’t resist!) I’m thinking Britney is a bit of a head-case, does anyone disagree?