Everyone on the celebrity blogging circuit always says how boring Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are, and that they could do almost anything and it still wouldn’t be exciting. And I agree with that. They are just so under my care-radar that it almost amazes me. Until I read this story this morning, I almost forgot that they existed. So it only makes sense that two boring people who are C-listers in Hollywood are getting married. Fox News reports:

Pop singer Lachey and his MTV star girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo will be married in a secret ceremony at one of the Carlyle Hotels in the Bahamas this weekend, a source told FOXNews.com’s Pop Tarts columnist Hollie McKay.

Minnillo’s entourage arrived at the dazzling digs Friday afternoon, the source said.

Reps for the comely couple could not be reached.

Lachey, 34, was previously married to Jessica Simpson and starred with her in the hit MTV reality show “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.”

Even the story is boring, isn’t it? I think they’d be more interesting if they got drunk, flew to Vegas, and got married there. And then released trashy pictures of themselves. They’d be sell-outs but they are already, aren’t they? I mean, leaking naked pictures of them doing it in a spa wasn’t exactly classy. So what are they trying to hide? We know they secretly want to make cash, so why not make cash off their wedding?!

Vanessa Minnillo, who was fired from MTV after her racy pictures with a knife and Lindsay Lohan hit the internet, wants to marry her boyfriend, Nick Lachey. It seems like not that long ago Nick was whoring himself to MTV to promote talk about is break-up with Jessica Simpson. Guess it’s been a couple of years ago now, though. Anyway, sources say Minnillo is pressuring Lachey to get married and she says she’ll leave him if he wants to do the whole pre-nup thing.

“Vanessa loves Nick, but she’s prepared to walk if he’s not willing to marry her. And she’s not going to get involved in a prenuptial agreement. She feels marriage is forever, and she doesn’t want to begin a lifelong commitment by signing an agreement that’s just an out for a divorce.”

She feels marriage is forever? Yeah, right! She wants the cash and will stop at nothing to get it! I’ve been staring at this picture of Vanessa Minnillo for the last five minutes, trying to think of something nice to say about all this. Like, maybe it’s true love and she’s just being real. But all I can think is her chin looks like buttcheeks and I don’t think she’s pretty anymore. I used to but not anymore.

I hope they get married because I want them out of the news for good. But I hope Nick gets a pre-nup because if he doesn’t, it could be a big mistake. What if he married Vanessa, they broke up a couple years later, then he and Jessica got back together? I could totally see that.

I don’t know why I’m even covering this. I feel like if I write about Paris Hilton, the least I can do is give Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey the couple minutes of attention they paid these photographers for. (If they didn’t pay them, I’d be surprised, because who still cares about these C-Listers? And C-Listers is being generous. I’d honestly say they are D-Listers).

So here’s the “happy couple” vacationing in Mexico. I guess they got naked so they could get in the spa together, or some crap like that. I think it’s a pathetic ploy for attention, because they know it will put them in the news for a second. Hell, since MTV fired her already then who cares I guess.

Deep down you have to wonder if Nick Lachey isn’t doing all this just to get a reaction out of Jessica Simpson? I bet he is still butthurt over that. And Vanessa is just with Nick cause her crackhead girlfriend Lohan is in rehab. Yep.

The article accompanying these censored pictures can be read in the new issue of Life & Style Magazine. Normally I can find uncensored pictures on the internet but for these I couldn’t find anything. If anybody sees anything, let me know!

Can’t say what made me choose Vanessa. To be honest, she can be added to the list of “People who slip under my radar of care” along with Hilary Duff. It’s like, she doesn’t do anything annoying or stupid, but she doesn’t do anything fabulous and outstanding either. So I guess that’s an O.K. thing. She looks good so that’s what makes her a babe. And she’s known for being busty. Thus, she’s this weeks Buxom Babe. No one liked last weeks, but that’s okay because I will like Jordan no matter what!

Vanessa Joy Minnillo (born November 9, 1980) is an American television personality. She was Miss Teen USA 1998 and is currently a host on MTV’s Total Request Live in addition to being the NY-based correspondent for Entertainment Tonight.

Minnillo was born in Clark Air Base, Angeles City, Philippines to Vincent Minnillo and Helen Berecero.

Her father is an American of Italian and Irish descent; the ethnicity of her estranged mother was ambiguous with Minnillo initially referring to her as a Filipina from the province of Pampanga and Leyte,^[1][2] and then later making reference to her as Polynesian during an interview with Maxim magazine for her October 2006 cover story.^[3] In an interview with “Creme Magazine”, she cleared this up when she explained that her mother is of Samoan descent but was raised in the Phillipines.

As a child, her family moved numerous times due to her father’s work in the United States Air Force. Her family spent time in California, Nevada, Florida, Germany and Japan before eventually settling in Charleston, South Carolina. Her parents are divorced, and she has a close relationship with stepmother Donna Minnillo, and an older adopted brother, Vincent. Vanessa is fluent in English and has passive knowledge of the Filipino languages Kapampangan and Tagalog.

Minnillo became Miss South Carolina Teen USA 1998, and went on to win the 1998 Miss Teen USA Pageant. She was the first delegate from South Carolina to capture the title and received the Congeniality Award in 1998. On the final night of competition she received the highest scores in the Interview, Swimsuit, and Evening Gown categories. Vanessa holds the record for receiving the highest score ever given to a contestant in any Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss Teen USA pageant. She received a 9.96 in the swimsuit category on final night. Miss Colombia Universe 1994/Miss Universe 1st runner up, Carolina Gomez, held the previous record in the evening gown category with a 9.897. Miss Alabama USA 2000/Miss USA 2nd runner up, Jina Mitchell, attempted to beat the record in the evening gown category with a 9.93.

Minnillo was one of the finalists in E!’s competition to find a replacement for Brooke Burke as hostess for the show Wild On. The job eventually went to Cindy Taylor.

Before joining MTV, she had minor roles in The Bold and the Beautiful, television series City Guys, That’s Life, and Maybe It’s Me.

Minnillo has been hosting TRL on MTV since 2003. Her first interview on TRL was with hip-hop artist Chingy. In 2005, she also became a New York-based reporter for the entertainment news show, Entertainment Tonight. In addition to her work on TRL, she has served as a host or co-host for a variety of MTV specials, and served as a celebrity judge for the Miss Teen USA pageant in 2003.

In May 2006, Maxim magazine listed Minnillo as #15 in their Hot 100 issue. She was listed as #62 in the 2005 issue and was the Maxim cover girl for both the October 2005 and October 2006 issues.

Minnillo was chosen for BONGO Jeans‘ Spring/Summer 2007 advertising campaign, and will be featured in a series of print ads depicting and inspired by classic 60′s pin-up girls.

Minnillo had an on-and-off relationship with New York Yankees shortstop and captain Derek Jeter from November 2003 to early 2006.^[5] Minnillo was featured in Nick Lachey’s music video for “What’s Left of Me”, which was nominated for “Best Male Video” at the 2006 MTV Music Awards. Since the summer of 2006, she has been dating singer Nick Lachey, member of former boy-band 98 Degrees and ex-husband of singer/actress Jessica Simpson.

(Source)