Hmm. Can you think of anything worse than lying about being pregnant? Well, obviously it’s worse to just BE Tila Tequila (and have that fake ass name) but she’s can’t really control the first part.

A couple of weeks ago Shot at Love star Tila Tequila announced she was pregnant. Her wife, Casey Johnson, passed away weeks before this and Tila said she was having the baby to honor Casey. At first Tila said the father was The Game, and then she said she’d would say who the real father was later. It was all so fishy and suspicious from the beginning. And an attention whore would really say anything for attention, so this isn’t a shock.

Tila fell and hit her head over the weekend, got a concussion, and then began to complain of belly pain. Now she’s saying she has suffered a miscarriage. There is no part of me that believes that this is true or possible.

The jig is up.

I try not to write about Tila Tequila because I think she is the worst. If Carrot Top, Andy Dick, Pamela Anderson and Lady Gaga had a baby together, Tila Tequila would STILL be worse. Because she just sucks. Everyone knows it.

Here latest act of suckery would be capitalizing on the death of her “fiance” Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. Instead of morning her death and letting her family have an inkling of respect, Tila is taking every opportunity she can to make this about HER. Now she is saying she is pregnant, because Casey wanted to have a baby with her so she’s having a baby to honor Casey.  Tila wrote this information on her blog, which I will never link to. She says a bunch a stupid crap but the basic jist is that she is pregnant, it’s not a publicity stunt (yet it SO is) and it’s all for Casey.

This is completely retarded and she should not be allowed to have a child. I mean, are we just letting anyone become a parent these days? Britney Spears should have taught us something about letting idiots have kids.

I say we start a petition.

Finally something to further what I’ve been saying for the last six months. Those of you who have been reading since the beginning know that I have beef with Tila Tequila for many reasons. She is extremely annoying, she is starved for attention, she whores herself through Myspace, and she is known for being half naked everywhere. Those are just a few reasons why she’s a trick. (If you need further proof that Tila Tequila is an idiot, you can click here or click here.) But now she’s got this “reality” dating show on MTV where she will date both men and women. How original! No one’s ever seen a slutty skeeze be bisexual! By golly, I think Tila might be the first! Tila posted this on her Myspace page:

My new reality show on MTV will be like NO OTHER SHOW ON TELEVISION HISTORY! My show is about finding true love, because for me….having over 2 million friends is cool but sometimes it makes it hard for me to find someone real, and someone whom I can trust and love…..but there is a catch…..the show will be about me finding love as a BISEXUAL!!!!! THAT IS CRAZY RIGHT? So on my new reality show there will be 16 male contestants and 16 female contestants all fighting for my love….the only twist is….yes, there is another twist….the only twist is that these guys and these girls have NO IDEA that I am bisexual and that they are competing against each others sexes!!! GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????

Barf. I’d rather watch Gilmore Girls or Smallville… that’s how much this program already annoys me! And you guys know how much I HATE the CW and all of their shows. I wonder who’s more obnoxious and fake: Tiffany Pollard or Tila Tequila? Man, its close if its not a tie!

Part I of this post is actually titled Celebretard of the Week. And Tila Tequila was my second. If you’d like to read why she’s retarded, you can read that here.

Now, getting to the title. There are many reasons why Tila Tequila is stupid and/or retarded. And, because she is a Myspace skankwhoreface, I will never run out of reasons. She posts bulletins practically daily, letting everyone know just how great she is. Yippee!

Above is the bulletin Tila posted yesterday. I don’t get on Myspace everyday, so I had to go back through the bulletin archives to find this one. And it’s just as exceptionally retarded as the first one I posted. If you cannot see the picture clearly, here is what the bulletin says:

Hey guys!

I just now got home from another photoshoot for the COVER of a magazine that I will tell you about once it comes out. I actually have 2 really HOT covers coming out this summer so stay tuned! Yipeee! This picture in my current profile was taken today at my shoot with my shitty digicam….ugh! I swear I need to buy a new one cuz mine is soooo old, the battery part keeps falling out! hahahhaha! I’m ghetto!

Anyway, what day is it? I’m soooooo tired. I think I am going to stay home tonight and lay in my jacuzzi, listen to slow music, and wished that I had a lover to love me down tonight….cuz tonight is just one of those nights where you want to stay home and get mushy!!!! hehe….

Just wanted to holla and say wattttuppppppppp and hope ya’ll are having a good weekend so far! I am HUNGRY! I’m about to go eat some Filet Mignon and mashed pataters! MMMMMM…..

Love
Tila

Wow. I hope no one reading this is an extreme Tila Tequila fan, because they aren’t going to be happy after they’re done here. 1. Does she really need to capitalize cover? Like, she needs to make it sound more important than it really is by saying COVER of a magazine. Granted, I’ve never made the cover of a magazine because I’m not an internet whore like she is, but if I did, I can guarantee I would’nt be such a skank about it. 2. “..that I will tell you about once it comes out” can be translated to “that I’ll tell you about if it comes out, because it may or may not be a real magazine.” 3. Being confident is sexy. Being conceited makes us want to barf. So the whole “I actually have 2 really HOT covers coming out this summer..” is just too much. I would’ve been okay with “I’m going to be in Myspace the Magazine and NetSkank Magazine so keep an eye out” but she just had to say HOT and then proceed to not name these alleged magazines. 4. I don’t give a crap if her camera is bad. If she’s so famous, why doesn’t she buy a new one? She’s trying to make us feel like she’s normal.. like she thinks all of our digital cameras are shitty, too, because we aren’t models like her. Whatev. Batteries could be falling out of her ass and I still wouldn’t care. 5. “What day is it? I’m soooooo tired” means “I’m pretending like I’m super busy doing real business ventures but I was actually out grinding rich business men all night in hopes they’d spot me some money to pay my mortgage.” 6. She’s going to stay home and lay in her jacuzzi.. and she has to tell us this because her house is so cool, we wouldn’t even understand! If you read the first bulletin I put up, you’ll notice she also makes a reference to her house in that one. She likes to brag about her stupid ass house, with the piano and the windows. Blah, blah, blah. I’m guessing half of her “fans” on Myspace probably still live with their parents, in a home much nicer than hers. I can’t take her bragging. And no, I’m not jealous. I’ve got a fabulous place of my own, thanks. 7. “Hehe…” Enough said. 8. Filet Mignon and mashed pataters, huh? Well, it’s not cute to spell potatoes like that.. FYI, and I think she feels like she needs to make a point that she eats a lot and is still so thin. Evidence that this is true? Last week she wrote one of her stupid ass bulletins that was all about how she has gained more weight and she’s soo proud. I can’t go back that far to get it, or I’d put that one up too! I wonder if she knows going from a 00 to a 0 isn’t gaining weight? If she wants to impress me, she’s got to go to a size 6 and still be “famous” how she is now. Yeah, exactly.

So there’s my beef with her today. Below is a thumbnail of her bulletin after she was on NBC’s Identity. (“And how could he NOT know me from MYSPACE!” Sickening, definitely sickening.) You can say I’m hating, and hey, maybe I am. But I am just soo tired of these annoying ass girls on Myspace, and in some magazines, that think their sh*t doesn’t stink. It’s annoying.

Oh, and for those of you who haven’t been introduced to the ANNOYING MALE MYSPACE WHORES, thanks to Laura XOXO, here’s one for you to check out. Complete joke!

Last weeks “Celebretard of the Week” was Paris Hilton. Finding someone more retarded than her is impossible, so I picked someone who is only half as retarded as her. Tila Tequila. No matter what she claims her career is about, let’s face it, she got famous off of Myspace. So she was in Playboy! Still, without her incessant and annoying spamming of Myspace, she would be just another bia that got into Playboy and then faded away into D list movies and crappy music. But now she thinks she is super famous, and it pisses me off. Her claim to fame is getting used and abused by Jared Leto. For those of you who know how I feel about Jared Leto, you would then know that this only makes me dislike Tila more because I hate Jared Leto. I just hate people who are so into themselves that they can’t even see how annoying they are. My example is above, the bulletin she posted on her Myspace today. It has no relevancy to anything! She just wants to talk about how great she is and everything. So annoying. Soo, soo annoying.

Oh and her music sucks, too.

Adam Sandler, the star of many funny movies such as Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Anger Management, and Mr. Deeds, is co-starring with The King of Queens tv star and stand-up comedian, Kevin James.

The two men are playing firefighters in Philadelphia who pretend to be gay in order to receive domestic partner benefits. The movie, in theatres July 20, 2007, is called “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.”

Another perk to this movie? Jessica Biel is also in this movie. Along with Armageddon actor Steve Buscemi and SNL alum Dan Aykroyd.

And hey, if you have Myspace then you know who Tila Tequila is. She’s the biggest Asian “Myspace whore” ever. She’s been liked to Jared Leto (poor girl) and she just came out with a new album. She’s pretty cute. She is making, what I presume to be, her acting debut in this film, as well.

Until this movie is released, I suggest you check out The King of Queens. The re-runs are now playing on TBS. That show is hilarious. I saw Kevin James’ stand-up on Comedy Central once and it was hilarious. I hear he’s skinny now?

Or.. if you’re an Adam Sandler fan, check out his new movie Reign On Me, about a man who loses his family to 9/11 and then, sadly, starts to lose himself. It looks super sad and emotional, but possibly Academy Award stuff.