Everyone on the celebrity blogging circuit always says how boring Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are, and that they could do almost anything and it still wouldn’t be exciting. And I agree with that. They are just so under my care-radar that it almost amazes me. Until I read this story this morning, I almost forgot that they existed. So it only makes sense that two boring people who are C-listers in Hollywood are getting married. Fox News reports:

Pop singer Lachey and his MTV star girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo will be married in a secret ceremony at one of the Carlyle Hotels in the Bahamas this weekend, a source told FOXNews.com’s Pop Tarts columnist Hollie McKay.

Minnillo’s entourage arrived at the dazzling digs Friday afternoon, the source said.

Reps for the comely couple could not be reached.

Lachey, 34, was previously married to Jessica Simpson and starred with her in the hit MTV reality show “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.”

Even the story is boring, isn’t it? I think they’d be more interesting if they got drunk, flew to Vegas, and got married there. And then released trashy pictures of themselves. They’d be sell-outs but they are already, aren’t they? I mean, leaking naked pictures of them doing it in a spa wasn’t exactly classy. So what are they trying to hide? We know they secretly want to make cash, so why not make cash off their wedding?!

Vanessa Minnillo, who was fired from MTV after her racy pictures with a knife and Lindsay Lohan hit the internet, wants to marry her boyfriend, Nick Lachey. It seems like not that long ago Nick was whoring himself to MTV to promote talk about is break-up with Jessica Simpson. Guess it’s been a couple of years ago now, though. Anyway, sources say Minnillo is pressuring Lachey to get married and she says she’ll leave him if he wants to do the whole pre-nup thing.

“Vanessa loves Nick, but she’s prepared to walk if he’s not willing to marry her. And she’s not going to get involved in a prenuptial agreement. She feels marriage is forever, and she doesn’t want to begin a lifelong commitment by signing an agreement that’s just an out for a divorce.”

She feels marriage is forever? Yeah, right! She wants the cash and will stop at nothing to get it! I’ve been staring at this picture of Vanessa Minnillo for the last five minutes, trying to think of something nice to say about all this. Like, maybe it’s true love and she’s just being real. But all I can think is her chin looks like buttcheeks and I don’t think she’s pretty anymore. I used to but not anymore.

I hope they get married because I want them out of the news for good. But I hope Nick gets a pre-nup because if he doesn’t, it could be a big mistake. What if he married Vanessa, they broke up a couple years later, then he and Jessica got back together? I could totally see that.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were on Live with Regis and Kelly where Nick told Kelly Ripa that the divorce rumors were only rumors. Shortly after that, Jessica would file for divorce.

Jennifer Aniston gives an interview to Vanity Fair magazine about her newly-failed relationship with Brad Pitt. She said, “I love Brad. I really love him. I will love him for the rest of my life.”

Britney Spears was still married to Kevin Federline. She was also pregnant with their first son, Sean Preston Federline.

Jennifer Garner was pregnant with her daughter Violet. Ben Affleck took her whole foods shopping.

Ashlee Simpson, still blonde and pre-plastic surgery, admits she wants to hook up with some other leading ladies in Hollywood. She said, “I’d love every woman to love me. (I would want to be with) Angelina Jolie! Well, and Jennifer Aniston. I’ll take them both.”

Singer Michelle Branch gave birth to her daughter Owen. She was 7lbs 12oz.

Naomi Campbell beat up Italian actress Yvonne Scio at an event in Rome. The reason? Yvonne was wearing the same dress as Naomi.

I don’t know why I’m even covering this. I feel like if I write about Paris Hilton, the least I can do is give Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey the couple minutes of attention they paid these photographers for. (If they didn’t pay them, I’d be surprised, because who still cares about these C-Listers? And C-Listers is being generous. I’d honestly say they are D-Listers).

So here’s the “happy couple” vacationing in Mexico. I guess they got naked so they could get in the spa together, or some crap like that. I think it’s a pathetic ploy for attention, because they know it will put them in the news for a second. Hell, since MTV fired her already then who cares I guess.

Deep down you have to wonder if Nick Lachey isn’t doing all this just to get a reaction out of Jessica Simpson? I bet he is still butthurt over that. And Vanessa is just with Nick cause her crackhead girlfriend Lohan is in rehab. Yep.

The article accompanying these censored pictures can be read in the new issue of Life & Style Magazine. Normally I can find uncensored pictures on the internet but for these I couldn’t find anything. If anybody sees anything, let me know!

This is pretty funny. Have you ever heard of a site called PostSecret? Well, if you haven’t, here is what the blogspot site does: PostSecret is a site that publishes secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. The secrets are real and the people stay anonymous. And today they posted on helluva secret.

The postcard reads (in case you can’t tell): “One of these men is the father. He pays me A LOT to keep it a secret!”

The men in the picture are (..in case you can’t tell): Vince Vaughn, Christian Slater, Ryan Phillippe, Simon Cowell, Adrien Grenier, Patrick Dempsey, Nick Lachey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Marc Anthony, Kevin Federline, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, Tobey Maguire, Jim Carrey, Ryan Seacrest, George Clooney, Matthew McConaughey, Justin Timberlake, and Freddie Prinze Jr.

Edit: When one PostSecret reader was right-clicking to save the image, the image title came up “Christian.jpg” Is this a mistake? Or something to throw everyone off? Humm..

Marc Anthony better watch out. J.Lo wants him all to herself and if she finds out he’s got a kid that she didn’t mother, girlfriend just might lose her do-rag and go bonkers.

And let’s be real, K-Fed isn’t paying anyone a lot of money. If anything, he’s asking for hand-outs.

Who do you think the baby’s daddy is??