According to TMZ, Madonna and Guy are manipulating the media into this whole “divorce” frenzy in order for them to make some cold, hard cash before they actually split. Here’s the scoop:

Well-placed sources tell us the Ritchies plan to officially split in November or December — after the Mrs.’ upcoming “Sticky and Sweet” world tour. Why? Big bucks. The concerts are expected to earn close to $300 mil worldwide, and they’ve decided to ear mark that to provide for their three children’s future.

And it gets better …

There is a whole PR strategy that has been in place for some time. We’re told the Material Girl will be “very visible” in the months leading up to the tour to “generate a lot of publicity.” That’s when “news” of the marriage’s demise would slowly leak out, causing tongues to wag — and Madonna to be on the cover of papers and mags around the world.

The marriage, we’re told, has been effectively over for some time. The couple are friends, and have realized that it is in both of their interests to make a pile of cash from this tour. No working things out here — our spies say rumors of reconciliation are “garbage.” One person told us, “She is simply playing the media — and the public — as usual.”

Dang, that’s pretty manipulative. I can’t decide if its smart and beating the media at its own game or if its sneaky and cunning. What do you think?

This is messed up but funny. With all this Madge and A-Rod drama, Pretty on the Outside decided to create a A-Rod and Madge mix. So, if they had kids, would they look like this beast above? If so, I hope they never have any kids!

What do you think Madonna would say if she saw this? Well, after she said “I’m suing” what would she say?

Rumor has it (I hate that saying) that Madonna has hired a divorce lawyer to help sort out her affairs in her upcoming divorce from current husband Guy Ritchie. Sources say she’s hired Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer and that she and Guy have just grown apart.

I bet they are getting a divorce because Madonna is a completely unbearable bitch. Guy Ritchie is probably like “I could snap and go bonkers and maybe kill her or we could just get a divorce. Hmmm.” I mean, I can’t even stand looking at Madonna. Just looking at her pisses me off. Then when I see her disgusting, vitamin injected arms I want to throw a brick at her. Someone needs to remind her of her age because she’s too old to be dueting with Justin Timberlake. Plus, they suck together. She sucks with anyone.

Boo Madonna!

How perfect is it that snotty bitch Madonna found “I’m too good for America” Gwyneth Paltrow! They are seriously the best couple of BFFs ever. Madonna is an American that speaks with a British accent and Gwyneth Paltrow is an American who thinks she’s British. Perfect. Honestly, who do these bitches think they are? They’re both over-paid and over-hyped for being performers. Don’t get me wrong–I like that we have performers. It’s nice to see movies and listen to music. But these bitches need to get off their high horse and realize that they aren’t changing problems in the world or saving anyone. They are just being snobby and opinionated 24/7.. I hope they have fun at the gym together. I bet they talk about what a poser Angelina is because she adopts kids but still embraces the whole “American” thing.  Tramps!

 

The carpet was black – not red – on the North lawn of the United Nations, but the parade of stars into Madonna’s big-ticket benefit Wednesday night nearly put the Oscars to shame.

The singer (who brought along 11-year-old daughter, Lourdes) spearheaded the event to help bring in cash for UNICEF and her own non-profit organization, Raising Malawi. Even before the event’s auction took place, ticket sales had already raised $3.7 million for children made vulnerable by AIDS in Africa.

“Gucci is important to me,” Madonna – who has been passionate about Malawi since 2006, when she began adopting a child from the impoverished African nation – told PEOPLE. “Because they stepped up to the plate to support me. And that means a lot.”

Also showing support? A gaggle of her A-list friends, including Gwen Stefani, Gwyneth Paltrow, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Salma Hayek (whose fiancé – and father of her child – Francois-Henri Pinault, oversees Gucci).

A very pregnant Jennifer Lopez – whose father recently confirmed she is expecting twins – stole the scene in a flowing brown Gucci gown with a snakeskin belt. (Even at nine months along, the singer is still rocking high heels. She lifted up her skirt to flash a pair of platforms.)

Her ex, Sean “Diddy” Combs, also hit the event, which coincided with NYC’s fashion week. When asked if he had any tips for Lopez, the mogul (who welcomed twins of his own in 2006) replied, “She doesn’t need any advice. She’s a loving person. She’ll make a great mother.”

Katie Holmes looked stunning (as usual) in a red, knee-length dress. Carrying a black clutch, she kept her other hand firmly on the back of husband Tom Cruise.

Drew Barrymore and boyfriend Justin Long – both wearing Gucci, of course – jetted in just for the event. “[AIDS awareness] is what we should be talking about in the world,” she said. “The is a lot of fluff, a lot of gossip on people’s minds. I’d much rather that these subjects be encompassing their brain and hearts.”

Madonna also lined up entertainment for the evening, including Rihanna (who admitted she was “definitely nervous”) and Timbaland, who spent two months in London working on the singer’s new album. “I’m part of the family,” he told PEOPLE. “She’s such a perfectionist … She’s a gangsta.”

People

P.S. Isn’t that the weirdest group of people ever? How they ever ended up in one group together.. I have no idea.

I am always waiting for the perfect time to plug my “Madonna Sucks: A True Story” blog post and when any opportunity comes up, I do. So, before you guys attack me for being a Madonna hater, please read this.

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way let me introduce you to some more evidence proving that Madonna, is in fact, the biggest bitch in the whole entire world. Exhibit A is from Page Six:

The pop queen paid a visit to the Reebok Sports Club on Columbus Avenue Saturday morning for a yoga class. According to a member of the class, when Madonna started talking to the instructor and he told her talking wasn’t allowed, she replied, “I need to speak to you,” and then said to the class, “I want you all to leave.” The teacher left with all 25 students. Madonna remained in the room practicing and wouldn’t leave when a 10:30 a.m. dance class was to start. Madonna’s rep said, “That sounds unlikely.”

Unlikely? You know Madonna’s rep heard that story and was thinking, “God I hate lying for this anglophilic bitch all the time.” Then Madonna came up behind him like a ninja and put a knife to his throat and said “Deny it!” and he did. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes every time her rep has to “deny” rumors of Madonna being “mean.”