It must be that time of year! Move over Jessica Alba and Jamie Lynn Spears, singer Lily Allen is pregnant! The 22-year-old is currently dating Ed Simon, the 37-year-old band member of The Chemical Brothers. The two have only been dating for 3 months and Lily just got into good shape! I see this relationship not even making it until the baby is born, seriously. Lily is a dramatic diva who likes the attention all the time. But, for right now, the two are happy.

“I am pleased to confirm that Lily and Ed are expecting their first baby. The health of Lily and her child is their paramount concern. As the pregnancy is at such an early stage the couple will be making no further comment, but they are obviously thrilled by the news.”

How is it obvious that they are thrilled by the news? I don’t see how that would be obvious at all. Out of all these chicks that are getting pregnant, I think that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren (seriously) are the only couple that have a chance at lasting. What do you think?

Lily Allen is a complete idiot. I think we’ve learned that in the past. She is a self-inflicted drama queen with no reason to do the annoying crap that she does. And yesterday, when she tried to take the microphone from Bobby Kray at the Notting Hill Carnival while he was performing, she got punked down and it makes me happy.

In an attempt to get more time on stage (I guess), Lily tried to grab the microphone from reggae singer Bobby Kray while he was performing. Bobby, who wasn’t done with his set, wrestled Lily for the microphone. She is a dumb ass and she pushed him off the stage. Pissed off (rightfully so), Bobby got back on stage and took Lily’s beer out of her hand and poured it over her. The crowd started cheering and she ran off stage, embarrassed, like a dog with her tail between her legs. They should’ve thrown tomatoes at her stupid ass! A witness of the incident said,

“Lily looked very drunk and was talking in a bad Jamaican accent. Then she just pushed him off.

“He wasn’t happy. He grabbed the Guinness from her and threw it over her head. Everyone cheered and she ran off embarrassed.”

After she pushed him off he should have got back up on stage and slapped her across the face. Then Lily’s girlfriend would have come on stage and Lily would be thinking she had back-up. Then her girlfriend would start making out with Bobby Kray and announce that they’re having a baby together. Then Bobby would drop the bomb that he’s actually having a baby with Amy Winehouse, too, and… God, I miss Melrose Place.

British chick fight! Better than American chick fights for some reason. Maybe it’s because they talk funny? I don’t know.

Anyway, Cheryl Tweedy, pop singer in the group Girls Aloud, is hot. And the picture of her in this post isn’t even a good one. So, yeah, she’s that hot. And Lily Allen, who recently posted a blog on Myspace about how much she hates being a fatty, is having major beef with Cheryl Tweedy. Here’s what happened:

Lily Allen wrote a song about Cheryl Tweedy.. it was just about how hot Cheryl is and how all the young girls want to look like her. Though the song was a mockery, because Lily later made a statement that no one wants to look like Cheryl. (Edit: I’d look like Cheryl Tweedy, so that statement is false.) Cheryl heard about the song, and what Lily said about her, and said:

“Because everyone wants to look like her. Chick with a dick. She’s either talking shit or talking about someone else. Asshole.”

After hearing this, Lily Allen, being the sissy crybaby that she is, replied back to her via Myspace. (Edit: Do any of these people have cell phones? E-mail? Why are celebrities confronting eachother via Myspace? It’s so 8th grade.) Here’s what Lily said:

I know I’ve said bad things about people in the past , though the majority of them have been blown wayyyy out of proportion , but this i mean – Cheryl if you’re reading this , I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and SING my own songs without the aid of autotune . I must say taking your clothes off , doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying , your mother must be so proud , stupid bitch .

Sort of true but I don’t think Lily should say anything. Has she ever heard the expression ‘people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones’ ‘fat girls shouldn’t talk crap’? Because if Lily is really self-conscious of her weight, I don’t think this is a good way to draw attention away from it, you know? I’m beginning to like Lily less and less. She is sort of annoying. What do you think?

Lily Allen has been quite sad lately, apparently because she is continually compared to other Brit-singer, who is much thinner, Amy Winehouse. I just want to say that Amy Winehouse looks like she does meth everyday, doesn’t eat, and drinks like a fish. I don’t see why Lily Allen is jealous of her.. Amy is unusual looking and probably is extremely unhealthy! Lily Allen may be a bit on the chubby side, but who cares! Her CDs will sell if her songs are good because she’s definitely not Beth Ditto. I think she needs a reality check, you know? She’s not huge, she’s just not anorexic like Amy. Anyway, Lily Allen posted a sad little blurb on her Myspace claiming she was all alone, crying about being fat. Check it out:

fat , ugly and shitter than winehouse

that is all i am , im on my own in america again . I used to pride myself on being strong minded and not being some stupid girl obsessed with the way I look . I felt like it didnt matter if I was a bit chubby cause , im not a model , I’m a singer . Im afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine . I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle , I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery , and laser lipo suction .

What do you make of it? A little pathetic but I can definitely relate to feeling like I could lose weight, or better myself. I think every woman feels like that once in a while. I just hope Lily Allen stops her whining, and then realizes she’s talented. If she gets bone-thin like Amy I’m going to be mega bummed. She’d lose fans!

Everyone can now breathe easy. Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse have made up. What they were fighting about, I’m not even sure of. What I do know, however, is that its more entertaining to write about people who are arch enemies. However, these two chicks are pretty crazy so maybe if they’re friends, they will act ridiculous together? We will see. Allen told reporters at the SXSW Music Festival,

“Me and the Winehouse have made up. We’re now lesbian lovers.” (Source)

Fabulous. If you want to find out more about the music of either of these Brit beauties, you can google their names and check out the results. No, I’m kidding. You can click here to go to Amy Winehouse’s site, or click here to go to Lily Allen’s site.

The blurb in the new Entertainment Weekly seems like Lilly Allen is mad at the world for liking people who drink and party. What I think she doesn’t realize is that its not always doing bad things that fans focus on.. if someone has a stinky attitude then we’ll dislike you just as much as we dislike a boasting alcoholic. Get it, Lilly? Here’s what she told the magazine:

“[Amy Winehouse] goes to all those parties, though, and hangs out with Kelly Osbourne and Kate Moss. I don’t understand that need to become famous. In my country, I think I have a reputation of being a bad role model for kids. Yet nobody’s ever had a picture of me rolling out of a nightclub at five in the morning completely out of my head on Ecstasy, and coked out of my brains. I always find that really peculiar. That’s never gonna happen to me, because really I’m not like that. If I wanted to be like a rich and famous celebrity, I would be going to those celebrity parties and film premieres, but that’s just not what I’m here for and not what I find interesting. And in my spare time I like to stay at home with my boyfriend and watch television. I have had my days of going out and getting trashed, but I don’t really, anymore.”

This is the time you make a snotty face to yourself or make the cat fight sound out loud.