Rumor had it that when Kirsten Dunst checked into rehab she did it because she was an alcoholic.. or, at least she had a drinking problem. But according to Kirsten herself, she was just really depressed. I’d be depressed too if I missed out on being with Jake Gyllenhaal. I think in general I’d just be depressed knowing I was Kirsten Dunst. Hey, she’s rich but she’s also known as the snaggle tooth and that ain’t hot. Here’s what she told some dude from E!:

“I didn’t go to Cirque Lodge for alcohol abuse or drug abuse…I went there for depression. It was a good six months before I decided to go away. I was struggling, and I had the opportunity to go somewhere and take care of myself. I was fortunate to have the resources to do it. My friends and family thought it was a good idea, too. But I didn’t know where to go. My doctor recommended Cirque Lodge.”

Let’s hope she’s feeling better. I wonder if she’s doing any better? Let’s hope so. She’s probably throwing darts at a picture of Reese Witherspoon as we speak. She may be less depressed but I guarantee she’s crazy as hell.

Kirsten Dunst, ever since I saw her in that movie The Virgin Suicides, really strikes me as someone who’s always bitching about something and always finds a reason to be depressed. You know those people, right? The ones who can’t be happy about anything and are always giving you a pissed off look for no reason. That’s how I imagine Kirsten Dunst to be. And now that’s she has been in rehab, I know she’s an alcoholic so throwing that juicy tidbit in the mix only reinforces my vision of her. There’s a rumor that the reason that snaggle tooth is always depressed is that she’s still  not over her ex-boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal. Kirsten was always a partier but when she got dumped the partying increased (just like every normal chick in her twenties, though). Us Weekly says that’s how she got to start drinking a bit too much.

“Whenever the cast and crew were out, she was the center of the group – doing shots and encouraging everyone to drink,” a source on her upcoming movie How to Lose Friends & Alienate People told Us. “There was no such thing as ‘just the one’ for her.”

Love makes you do crazy things. Namely drink, I’d say. Let’s hope this rehab works for her so when she gets clean she’ll come to her celebrity senses and start putting all these magazines on blast for trying to guess what her problems are. Oh and you know she totally will. She lives for the dram!

As I reported a couple of days ago, We Own the Night actress Eva Mendes has been in rehab at Cirque Lodge in Utah. While it was unknown what Eva’s substance problem was, we do know it must’ve been bad if she checked herself into rehab. But it looks like Eva is much better because she has checked out of Cirque after a couple weeks of getting healthy. Let’s hope it sticks. But is it karma? Eva made fun of her co-star Joaquin and he’s got substance abuse problems. Weird. Well, good luck to her in her sober future. Taking her place at Cirque is Kirsten Drunkst!

Actress Kirsten Dunst has checked herself into the Cirque Lodge (the place where Lindsay Lohan, Richie Sambora, and Eva Mendes have stayed) in Utah. While it is unknown what substance abuse problem Kirsten has, sources say,

“She desperately needed help,” a source in Utah tells Star. “She seemed to be intoxicated when she checked in because she was acting really erratic. She was extremely emotional, constantly breaking down in tears.

“She not in a good place right now, but thankfully, she’s getting the help she needs.”

Kirsten will probably be getting better in rehab for a couple of weeks. Let’s hope that she stays long enough to really get better and not just get temporarily better like some other celebrities. Good luck to Kirsten but I can’t help but think its karma for her being such a hater on the Spiderman movies that have made her soo rich. Ingrate!

Okay, so, I am someone who sort of thinks all celebrities should be thankful for what they do. Why? Because a lot of them make more than most doctors, therapists, and other important people by just pretending to be someone else on screen. Now, I’m not discrediting actors for what they do, God knows I enjoy a good movie, but once again Kirsten Dunst has thrown in her two cents about how much of a drag it is to make movies. When I read this, I thought to myself, “How is it that this sad girl, who I think sort of looks like Pete Doherty’s lost sister, makes millions as an actress yet complains about everything from being famous to how demanding things are on set?” The reason I said Pete Dorherty is because they both have those freaky high cheek bones and tiny chins. Anyways, here’s what she had to say during an interview:

“Action movies really entail sitting in a trailer all day and not doing anything. You get there at six in the morning, you get all dressed up, put your make-up on and it seeps into your pores all day long and it’s really boring. I always have a lot of action in these films, and I don’t like it. Everything that you see in the great action clips take weeks and months, each moment takes a day. It involves screaming, cars, heights, and it’s very technical and complicated.”

I guess it’s too technical and complicated for us regular folk to grasp. Thank goodness we have Kirsten to do that hard work for us. I just wish she would stop moping like some black cloud is following her and come to realize that she’s got it pretty darn good.

Kirsten “snaggletooth” Dunst and her rocker boyfriend Johnny Borrell have broken up. Of course Kirsten didn’t talk to any of the tabloids but Johnny did. He pretty much blamed himself. I’m sure Kirsten threatened him that if he told the truth (that she is an unbearable beeotch) then she’d have him killed. Or something like that. Here’s what Johnny said of the split:

“We were leading different lifestyles. It’s over. She believes in equality, that a bloke should chip in with the housework. Fair enough, but I’m messy, and I love messing around with bikes.

 

“She couldn’t stand the smell of stale fags, beer and kebabs in her nice living room. Can’t say I blame her, really.”

I don’t know what stale fags are but I can definitely say that I don’t want them in my living room either. I still stick to my theory that Kirsten is just such a bitch that no one can stand her. She probably paid him to date her this long!

Kirsten Dunst just recently moved to Islington, London into a 4 million dollar home. The area is very suburban, filled with other snotty rich English people. But her neighbors already want her out. Maybe they just now saw her snaggle tooth? They’re blaming it on her noise level, but I’m thinking thats a front for her snaggle tooth and bad attitude. The Daily Mail reports:

It is claimed that three families have written to Islington council to complain about her late night parties and the loud noise.
We’re told she’s developed a reputation for disturbing the peace and having a wild time as she leaves the pub and brings people back to her quiet street.
Our well-placed source claims: “Kirsten isn’t very popular in Islington at the moment. The locals are incensed that she’s changing the tone of the area. She’s started spending nights in the local pub by herself chatting to the locals
When closing time comes she invites them all round to her house to continue the party. But it seems the noise levels and people coming and going at all hours is getting to her neighbours.
“They’ve had enough and apparently three families have written a petition to the council in the hope they’ll take some action.
“Where they live used to be a peaceful neighbourhood but now they think it is like party central.”

Umm, am I the only one who wonders what a Kirsten Dunst party is like? She probably forces everyone to watch Interview With A Vampire while she talks about how tired of being in the Spiderman movies she is. Then she smokes weed and forces everyone to compliment her. What torture. And if I lived in Islington, I would do my best to get her kicked out. All these snotty Americans (cough, cough.. Gwyneth Paltrow) think they’re too good for America and then even Great Britain hates them. I love it.