Why is it that David Letterman provokes the nastiest but funniest truths out of people? I love it.

Kid Rock was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night.

It’s funny because Kid Rock hasn’t done crap for years but yet he’s still getting paid to go on talk shows just because he was married to someone who’s on the C list. Fame is funny, isn’t it? Anyway, Kid was on Letterman and OF COURSE Dave had to ask him what he thought about Pamela Anderson marrying Rick Salomon. Here’s what Kid said (and it’s pretty fun, not to mention true):

“I wish somebody would have given me the advice I’m about to give Rick Salomon. Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?“

“I wish them much happiness.”

Ha! What a burn on her! I love burns because they’re true! Some would say Kid Rock is just bitter but I don’t think so. I think he’s just being honest and it just so happens that its funny, too. If you want to see the video of it, click here.

Kid Rock is saying now that he never loved Pamela Anderson and that he’s happy he divorced her. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t Pamela be saying she’s happy she isn’t with that scuzz-ball anymore? Wait, upon further inspection of both of their pictures, I’ve decided to call it a draw. They are both equally happy to be broken up and we are all happier because we are sick of seeing their worn-out, fug old faces everywhere together. Yay! Kid Rock said,

“I went through what I went through, and there’s no doubt it wasn’t love – we went through all these things, but then coming out of it pretty much unscathed, after uprooting my son and a lot of things, it’s like, ‘Thank god I’m out of this.’… It had zero to do with her. Of course, she’ll tell everyone she was the victim in it, like always.”

On, snap! Pam always acts like the victim, huh? Well honestly, Kid Rock couldn’t even compete with Tommy Lee. I mean, have you seen their video on the boat? Okay, enough said. That only happens once and you can never make it happen again and be better.

(Source)

I’m not sure what to make of this. Tommy Lee got bitch-slapped by Kid Rock at the 2007 MTV VMA’s and now he’s blogging about what happened. Part of me wants to give him some credit for apologizing to Alicia Keys (the fight went down during her performance), George Maloof (owner of The Palms), and MTV. However, another part of me wants to bitch slap him again for not realizing he’s a grown man acting like a teenager with A.D.D. Apparently none of these douche bags know what “being the bigger person” is all about. I mean, he says he does but if he did, wouldn’t he have just let the whole thing go? Anyway. Tommy, in the middle of dropping every celebrity name he could think of, wrote this blog:

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….(“I apologize sweetie…..I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect”)……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards… grab me and haul my ass outta the award show! So I’m fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm’s George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

Um, so, I’m confused. Does Tommy Lee like Megan Fox or Pamela Anderson? And I’m still unsure why Kid Rock punch-slapped Tommy Lee. I guess when two douche bags come face-to-face, something has to happen. We are lucky it was just one punch-slap. It could have been an all-out slap fight. And dear God I’ve never used so many hyphens in my whole life until now.

P.S. Did he really need to put “(magician)” after Criss Angel? I mean, I’m pretty sure all of America knows about this guy. Whether or not we care about him is a different story.