Jessica Simpson and Justin Timberlake have nothing on their exes! It seems that the most unlikely two of the bunch are now together. Cameron Diaz, who dated Justin Timberlake for a couple of years, and John Mayer, who dated Jessica Simpson on-and-off for some months, are now dating. Sources say they were spotted at Indochine earlier this month, getting quite cozy with each other.

“People did double takes,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly of the pair, who talked, smiled and giggled endlessly.

“It was cute, like they were just beginning dating.”

Aren’t these two like, thirty years old or something? This giggly, canoodling crap is getting old. I think they should just go off to Vegas and get married. Then try and make it work. Spare us all these “secret” meetings and “secret” pictures and just take the plunge. I’m kind of sick of Hollywood right now, if you can’t tell. Sources say that Cameron likes John a lot so far. (NOW I can sleep at night.)

“She likes everything about him so far,” says the Diaz source. “He’s wicked-smart, socially aware and into politics and the environment. But it’s very new.”

What the hell does wicked-smart mean? He can’t just be smart, he’s got to be wicked-smart? John Mayer is a politics pusher and that annoys me, too. Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Criss Angel, John Mayer, Jessica Simpson, and Jared Leto all need to live on a deserted island together. The world might be less annoying that way.

“Whether you save a falling baby’s life or whether you fall on the ground drunk, it’s gone, lost in the sea of DUI’s and crotch shots. And it just doesn’t matter.”

So true. I mean, I definitely don’t think John Mayer is the authority on life lessons and what’s right and wrong, considering he has been dating Jessica Simpson the last year and she’s the queen of fake. But I do think what he is saying is true. Who knew he had anything in him that deep that didn’t involve global warming?

It seems that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have broken up. I’m not really that surprised because they never seemed to look at eachother passionately, kiss and hug, or even act like they knew eachother that well. There are rumors that the couple always breaks up and then they always get back together so possibly the couple will not stay broken up.

This weekend, John Mayer was seen in New York City hitting on skinny chicks and trying to get a date. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a burn on Jessica, like trying to say she isn’t skinny or something? But I think if that’s what he’s trying to do then he’s a total asshole. Guys who makes chicks feel bad about their weight are complete douchebags, and John Mayer is beginning to bug me.

Also, it is rumored that John Mayer broke up with Jessica Simpson because he doesn’t like the way she dresses. Man, these people need to grow up. The way she dresses is a bad reason to dump her. Unless its a front for something else? I don’t know. Maybe the way she dresses=her boobs hang out too much. Then I could see where that would be an issue that needs to be addressed, but not a reason to dump her. What do you think?

So this picture of Jessica Simpson and her supposed aereola slip has been all over the last two days. I’m not so sure I actually even care that we can see her aereola on her right breast (left in the picture). I think that’s because I have my own aereola, I don’t really care if I see someone else’s. With that said, Jessica’s hair does look really great in this picture. The length, the style, the color–all of it makes for a great look. I’m jealous. Her face, however, is not so hot. She’s got an evil eyebrow there on her left (right in the picture) and she looks like she may be sort of pissed at the paparazzi. Who knows though. If I were her, I’d be making that face because I have to sleep next to fug John Mayer every night. I don’t know what happened but he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Since she’s been dating him she looks like she has gotten a little fug, too. Go figure. More pictures below.

P.S. I’m not saying this in a degrading, belittling, or knocking way at all but.. it looks like Jessica has put on some extra pounds, doesn’t it? She still looks great, don’t get me wrong, but her thighs are looking thicker than normal. Whatev. Back to the pics below.