5:39pm: Jon Stewart pissed off Dennis Hopper, I’m pretty sure. And before that, I’m pretty sure George Clooney was irritated for Jon to be talking to him. His political jokes about the Iraqi war was typical and, because of those jokes, I wish he wasn’t hosting. He was definitely pushing the Democratic thing and it was sort of funny but mostly annoying because the Oscars are about movies, not politics.

5:42pm: Jennifer Garner is the first presenter. She is presenting the award for Achievement in Costume Design. The winner is Alexandra Burn for Elizabeth: The Golden Age. She was previously nominated in the same category for her work on the film Hamlet. BORING! Let’s get to the good jokes, the good awards, and the good celebrities!

The first commercial break. The first of many, I’m sure. I wonder what those losers Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are doing right now? Besides getting snubbed.

5:46pm: George “I’ve got an attitude problem” Clooney is on-stage. He needs to learn how to read. Seems like he stumbled a bit. He is announcing the whole”80 Years of Oscar” bit. Seeing Julia Roberts winning reminded me how glad I am that she’s out of the spotlight. Charlie Chaplin sure looked different as an old guy but seeing the clip of him getting his Honorary Oscar was pretty neat.

5:51pm: Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell (who was funny AS USUAL!) are presenting for Best Animated Feature Film now. They came out to Get Smart music because of their new movie, Get Smart, coming out in June 2008. The winner is Brad Bird and his feature Ratatouille. This is Bird’s 2nd Academy Award.

5:55pm: Katherine Heigl is on-stage presenting the award for Achievement in Make Up. She was incredibly nervous and shaking, which I found endearing. The winner is La Vie En Rose. Now Amy Adams is singing some gay song from Enchanted. This is the time where I get up and eat and pee cause I hate this type of crap.

Second commercial break of the night. Hope everyone is watching these at home so you guys can relate to my comments!

6:06pm: And we’re back! Thank goodness that Amy Adams performance ended. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is now on-stage. He looks like a monkey! He’s presenting the award for Best Visual Effect. The winner is Michael Fink for The Golden Compass.

6:09pm: Cate Blanchett, who is a double-nominee this year, is presenting the award for Art Direction. The winner is the people for Sweeney Todd.

Okay so I was just reminded how little people care about all these awards as opposed to the big, main awards. So I will slow it down and update just for the really good stuff so that you guys aren’t reading a crap load of stuff.

6:16pm: Best Supporting Actor awards being presented by Jennifer Hudson. The winner is.. Javier Bardem for his role in No Country For Old Men.

6:34pm: Best Supporting Actress award being presented by last years Best Supporting Actor winner Alan Arkin. The winner is (I’m totally gunning for Cate but I’m waiting to see who actually wins it!) Tilda Swinton for her role in Michael Clayton.

Third commercial break

6:54pm: Kristen Chenoweth performing some horrible song from Enchanted. I’m so glad I never saw that movie!

Fourth commercial break but after that performance, we all need a break!

7:02pm: Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill presenting and they are hilarious. I wish all the presenters could have as much life and happiness as these two. Everyone else is boring. They presented their award to two hippies (seriously) for The Borne Ultimatum and they were totally lost the whole time. Classic.

7:09pm: Forest Whittaker presenting the award for Best Actress In A Leading Role. This one will be tough but I am still rooting for Cate B. The winner is (drumroll!) Marion Cotillard for La Vie En Rose.

Okay it’s 8:05pm and its been through seven commercials and I’m so tired of watching this! They just did the tribute to all the people who have passed away and seeing Heath Ledger’s name up there just wasn’t right. It’s so sad that he’s gone. Let’s hope the BEST ACTOR award is next!!

8:14pm: Tom Hanks just spoke and I wish there was more of him in this show. He’s beyond awesome. In fact, from seeing him I’m getting tempted to turn off this show and watch Forrest Gump. Seriously.

8:30pm: Best Actor award finally being given out by Helen Mirren after frickin 3 hours of waiting. The winner is Daniel Day Lewis for his role in There Will Be Blood. DAMN! I really wanted Viggo Mortensen to win. He did an excellent job in Eastern Promises.

8:45pm: Best Motion picture being presented by Denzel Washington. I wanted 3:10 to Yuma to win but it wasn’t nominated. No Country For Old Men was the winner. Hooray. The 3rd Oscar for them (the Cohen brothers) in one night.

FINALLY! They are over! What did you think of the results?  

*If you would like to see the list of 2008 Oscar nominations, CLICK HERE* I will be live-blogging through the whole ceremony and will post the winners later this evening, as they are announced. Enjoy the commentary and pictures! TIP: refresh your page frequently! I will continue to add pictures every thirty minutes or so! Enjoy the 80th annual Academy Awards!*

3:20pm:     Okay, I’m starting my live-blogging of the 2008 Oscars right now. I don’t want to start this early but it’s either this or reading about the Cold War and, well, we all know watching stuck-up famous people give each other fake hugs and dirty looks is wayy better than reading about any war. Heidi Klum and Seal were just interviewed by Ryan Seacrest and Heidi Klum is annoying. Anytime people ask her if she’s looking forward to seeing anyone famous she’s says no. Girlfriend thinks she’s too famous to get star-struck or something.

3:30pm:     I’m watching the pre-Academy Awards red carpet thing on the E! channel with Ryan Seacrest, Guiliana Rancic, and Kimora Lee Simmons. I found it totally hilarious when George Clooney (with girlfriend Sarah Larson) totally shot down every possible joke or conversation piece from Ryan Seacrest. I actually found him to be a little rude, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. Jason Bateman was funny when he insinuated that George Clooney wears a wig. I bet George heard him say that and was pissed! No one calls George out… no one! (Well, except Fabio, huh?) I’m totally already getting tired of watching this and the awards haven’t even started yet! To make it worse, I definitely don’t think Jon Stewart is neither cute or funny… so it’s going to be rough!

3:56pm:     Ryan is interviewing Saoirse Ronan of Atonement and I’m loving her cute little accent and her emerald green dress. I just learned from the text band at the bottom of the television screen that Kristen Chenoweth will be singing (eh, performing) a song tonight. And if you saw her on Leno then you know she’s the adorable blonde actress from Pushing Daisies.

4:00pm:     Steve Carell and his wife are being interviewed by Ryan right now and Steve is funny. I love The Office and I love all his movies so I’m happy to see he’s a funny, cute guy in real life. He’s starring in Get Smart with Anne Hathaway coming out in June. I love that Steve and his wife just said happy birthday to his wife’s sister… so cute! Patrick Dempsey and his wife are talking to Ryan. They’re boring and plain, I hate to say it.

4:05pm:     John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston are looking old and they weren’t very friendly with Ryan. Travolta’s wig is shaved off so that’s a plus. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is on the red carpet and is presenting tonight, which is a total joke because he’s like, the worst actor ever. I used to love him like 10 years ago but that fizzled out a long time ago! Atonement star James McAvoy and Anne Marie Scott are both so cute. I love James’ accent, as always.

4:12pm:     Charlie Wilson’s War actress Amy Adams just got interviewed on the red carpet by Ryan and she was cute and charming as always.  Adams was previously nominated for Best Supporting Actress at the 2005 Academy Awards for her role as Ashley Johnston in Junebug.

4:18pm:    Gary Busey just awkwardly hugged Jennifer Garner (who looks gorgeous with a huge diamond necklace on) and then kissed her. It was HILARIOUS and she handled it pretty well, aside from the fact she was beyond freaked out. She said she needed her man Ben Affleck around and I think she was right! Laura Linney was at Jennifer Garner’s side. Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill are looking like twins with pubic hair beards and black glasses.. but they are so hilarious. I love them. Miley Cyrus is wearing a red Valentino dress (and I’m wondering why she’s even there) and Ryan Seacrest is just feeding her ego.. it’s sick!

4:30pm:     Ryan Seacrest cannot let go of the whole “Gary Busey busting in” moment. It was, however, quite hilarious. Keri Russell is now talking to Ryan Seacrest. She is wearing a gold strapless dress and she is with her husband, Shane. She is a presenter for some sort of song. Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are being interviewed by Ryan and they’re totally stuck-up. Her face is looking fat now that she’s in her third-trimester. Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is talking to Ryan promoting his movie A Raisin In The Sun on ABC tomorrow night. Cameron Diaz had to ask her assistant what brand of jewels she was wearing. She is presenting at the Oscars again this year, the same as she did last year. Tilda Swinton talked about her role in Michael Clayton. That’s some red hair!

4:45pm:     Still on the red carpet with Ryan.  Lisa Rinna walked by in the background and I’m not sure why her and her big lips are there but whatever. Colin Farrell was there with his mommy and he said Nicole Kidman had nothing to do with why he became an actor, contrary to rumors.  Casey Affleck, who is being nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his role in The Assassination of Jesse James, was friendly with Ryan. Hilary Swank is wearing a black Versace dress. It’s pretty but somewhat plain.

4:58pm:    Katherine Heigl wearing a bright red dress with bright red lipstick. A bit intense for me but whatever.

5:01pm:    Now I’m watching the Red Carpet Countdown to the Oscars with Regis Philbin on ABC.  The Reeg is talking to George (been there, done that) about his Best Actor nomination for Michael Clayton. The Reeg couldn’t hear a damn word that George said and he made a fool outta himself. Funny, though. Marion Cotillard is wearing a white dress and is there for her nomination for Best Actress.

*This post is getting long so I will continue on the next post.. keep refreshing your page for updates! Thanks!*

You know how Ryan Phillippe was always a jealous asshole when he was married to Reese Witherspoon? Always making comments about her making more money and being the more famous one? Well now he can quit bitching cause she divorced his loser ass and moved on. But Ben Affleck seems to have taken his place as the jealous divo hubby!

Jennifer Garner had her Broadway premiere as Roxane in Cryano de Bergerac at the Richard Rodgers Theatre last night and when asked how his wife of two years did, Ben Affleck replied:

“She did fine!”

Then, probably sensing he was turning into Ryan Phillippe, he changed his tune and started kissing her butt. He knows who butters his bread!

“I’m really impressed by her courage and her talent.. It was terrific and I had a lot of fun.” (Source)

Jealous much Mr. Garner?! I know Ben just directed Gone Baby Gone but it isn’t as hot as he thought it would be and Jen’s on fire right now. If he’s not secretly pissed then Perez Hilton isn’t gay!

Jennifer Garner is pretty much the same in every interviews. Very happy, giggling, everything is good. So it comes as no surprise to me that her new interview with Marie Claire magazine is sort of boring. She’s beautiful and fun, don’t get me wrong, but it was pretty boring. If she said her and Ben were into hookers or had a huge crush on Pete Doherty, just to mix it up, I’d be loving them more.. cause then they’d be interesting. Here’s some highlights.

Jen on Ben: 

“I don’t know what makes it work. But it does. One thing that makes it work is that we’re both pretty nice. He’s not someone who’s ever going to blow up on anyone. What I mean is, if he’s ever angry with me, he doesn’t act out on it in a weird way or yell at me. And I am the same. So we handle conflict in a very loving and adult way.”

Jen on the paps: 

“[The paparazzi] just nips away at anything you’re doing, the small pleasures. I would give just about anything to make it go away, especially for my daughter. I feel like she has a right to her privacy, and it’s kind of encroached on.”

I’m not sure what encroached on is. Anyone have a clue? I just want to remind all famous people, for the trillionth time, that at one point they yearned to have the paps follow them. That without paps and tabloids, they just may not be as famous and rich as they are now. Okay, enough said.

Here is a list of the winners from tonights Video Music Awards that were on MTV. It’s funny because I was worried about missing Britney’s performance but all of my friends reassured me that MTV would play the program over and over for the next month. Then I read online that MTV said they were breaking that habit and decided they wouldn’t re-run the show. So, of course, I watched it. Then I read on the internet that on the East coast, it’s already being replayed. So if any of you guys missed the Britney Spears performance, it will be on again. No worries! Okay, back to the list of the winners

Monster Single of the Year & Video of the Year= Rihanna f/Jay Z “Umbrella”

Male Artist of the Year & Quadruple Threat= Justin Timberlake

Earth Shattering Collaboration= Beyonce f/Shakira “Beautiful Liar”

Best Group= Fall Out Boy

Best New Artist (Fan-Voted)= Gym Class Heroes

Female Artist of the Year= Fergie

I’m disappointed that Fergie was a no-show because I totally like Fergie. I bet she would’ve looked hot. I’m also a bit peeved that the cameras didn’t find Justin Timberlake during Britney’s performance. I wanted to see his face! Below are pictures of Pam Anderson, Jennifer Garner, Ashlee Simpson, Alicia Keys, Beyonce Knowles, Lil Mama, Nelly Furtado, Mary J. Blige, Ashanti, Paris Hilton, Rihanna, Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker, Sarah Silverman and Shia LaBeouf.

Edit: Am I the only one who thinks Paris Hilton looks like a 65-year-old woman with too much make-up on top of bad skin with a crappy rug on her head? She totally does. ICK!

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were on Live with Regis and Kelly where Nick told Kelly Ripa that the divorce rumors were only rumors. Shortly after that, Jessica would file for divorce.

Jennifer Aniston gives an interview to Vanity Fair magazine about her newly-failed relationship with Brad Pitt. She said, “I love Brad. I really love him. I will love him for the rest of my life.”

Britney Spears was still married to Kevin Federline. She was also pregnant with their first son, Sean Preston Federline.

Jennifer Garner was pregnant with her daughter Violet. Ben Affleck took her whole foods shopping.

Ashlee Simpson, still blonde and pre-plastic surgery, admits she wants to hook up with some other leading ladies in Hollywood. She said, “I’d love every woman to love me. (I would want to be with) Angelina Jolie! Well, and Jennifer Aniston. I’ll take them both.”

Singer Michelle Branch gave birth to her daughter Owen. She was 7lbs 12oz.

Naomi Campbell beat up Italian actress Yvonne Scio at an event in Rome. The reason? Yvonne was wearing the same dress as Naomi.