It’s Saturday and I don’t usually post on Saturday. I like to take the weekend off from the site so I can get downtime and study time. But since I was a complete trick last week and didn’t post hardly at all (a lot of school work pre Spring Break, what can I say?), I felt compelled to do at least one post over the weekend. Don’t get your hopes up for an Easter update, though, because I am leaving for Monterey this afternoon and won’t be back until tomorrow evening. ANYWAY.

Here’s the movie poster for Jared Leto‘s new movie Chapter 27. Remember a year (or more) ago when Jared Leto got really fat for a movie role? Yeah, it was for this one. It’s finally coming out. It’s going to be released in New York City on March 28. I wouldn’t mind seeing it except for one thing: Lindsay Lohan is in it. Can a movie be good and have a chance at being nominated for an Oscar if Lindsay Lohan is in it? I just don’t think so. She’s not a good actress. Thankfully Jared Leto is a good actor and can usually carry a film so we’ll see.

In case you’re wondering, Chapter 27 is about the man who shot John Lennon. And for those of you who don’t know, John Lennon was a famous British artist who was part of The Beatles. I sort of want to see this, just because I want to see if Jared Leto put on the weight for a good reason. But I know I won’t see it because going to the movies are expensive and that’s why I have Netflix. So if anyone sees it when it comes out, let me know if it’s any good, okay? Great.

Dear Jared Leto,

I know the tight pleather jacket probably gets a lot of breezies hitting on you all the time, but it’s a bit too small and it looks like something Danny Bonaduce would’ve worn ten years ago. In addition to this, I want you to know that only female celebrities should have nipple slips. That being said, you should probably thing about buttoning up that sexy shirt.. or just give it back to the serial killer that you stole it from. Now that we have those things out of the way, let’s talk about how you’re sitting. I already think you’re a horrific diva and sitting like that only furthers my suspicious that your divaness is coming from a deeply rooted gay thing you have going on. (Kissing Paris Hilton and sleeping with the sluts in Hollywood only makes me think you’re covering up something) No matter what Krista Ayne says, I still have my suspicions. And if you are gay, I must warn you that the gays don’t like mullets. In fact, I don’t think anyone is into mullets anymore so you might consider cutting your hair. And giving it a wash cause that slicked back cholo thing isn’t working for you. Oh, and, blowing on soup and munching on salad is extremely gay. If you’re going to do that, do it at home so we’re not forced to watch you be gay right in front of our eyes. Better yet, just stay at home and stop making emo music and thinking you’re a rockstar. We’re all better off without you. Panic Room was good, yes, but in general, you suck. Just wanted you to know.

Kisses,

Hollywood Headache

P.S. Just a little FYI for you. Your beard looks like the pube-beard on Jackass 2 and its definitely disgusting.

This could possibly be the most offensive thing I’ve seen since the Vanessa Hudgens bush pictures. First and foremost, I have a deep-rooted hatred for Jared Leto because he is such an unbelievable douche bag. Secondly, I’ve never been a fan of Paris Hilton. I mean, I tried to not hate her completely because I think she’s overly criticized and whatnot, but I just find her a disgusting, hideous, racist, attention whore with no morals. So putting these two together create a nasty, nasty, disease ridden couple that are actually perfect together. I mean, Jared Leto is conceited and thinks he’s too good for everyone, even chicks like Krista Ayne, and Paris Hilton moves from dude to dude because she’s also amazingly conceited. So what’s to come of them? I’m anxious to find out. As much as this kiss nauseates me, I sort of want to see them date and have a mean break-up. Those are entertaining!

And P.S. Why are these two even at Sundance? I know Jared acts but what has he been in lately? And why is Paris there? Is The Hottie and the Nottie at Sundance or something? Ick. They are contaminating Sundance!

Some “breaking news” is out about Lindsay Lohan right now. I say “breaking news” because in all actuality it is not breaking news, it is old news, and it is quite worn out news. According to this “breaking news”, a friend of Lindsay Lohan spills their guts and reveals what a skeeze and drug head she really is.

He says he watched Lohan snort 20 lines of coke from the span of 8 o’clock one night until 11 o’clock the next morning. In addition to that, he says that Lohan said, “I’m going to New York tomorrow to fuck Jude Law.” The source also unveils a list of people Lindsay Lohan has slept with, including Jared Leto, James Blunt, Calem Best, Joaquin Pheonix, Benecio Del Toro, and James Franco. Lohan said she messed around with Leonardo DiCaprio but didn’t have sex with him. Here’s a brief blurb of the article that’s outing Lindsay for the drug feign she is:

The friend added: “Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it.” And she has not managed to stay off the booze either.

“She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda.”

Her friend said: “That night I saw her do more than 20 big lines of cocaine. She was still up doing drugs at 11am even though she had started about 8pm the night before.

“She wasn’t even trying to hide it and was blatantly doing it off table tops, keys, books and in the wardrobe, where she was hunched over with her legs crossed almost bent in half doing it off some magazine on the floor.

“I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone.

“Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out.

“One night we had gone back to her place and, as always, as soon as she walked through the door she stripped down to her thong, bent down and snorted cocaine off her coffee table and then off her toilet seat.”

The article is worth reading, so if you’d like to read it, click here (or on breaking news, above.) I feel bad for her because she obviously feels she has to do this to maintain some sort of twisted self-worth. Kinda gives you a little respect for Leonardo DiCaprio, knowing he didn’t get involved in that. Anyway, I think this little girl is more messed up than we realized. Sadness!

It’s nasty to know that people actually want to have sex with Jared Leto because he is such a conceited asshole. I know he’s a good actor and everything, but I hate his emo-band 30 Seconds To Mars and I hate all the stuff he does in the media. He’s a divo and there’s just no way around that!

And I wouldn’t expect a metro divo to be good in the sack. But apparently, he’s alright. He’s a 7, according to Penthouse Pet of the Year runner-up Krista Ayne. The pet said:

“Jared isn’t bad in bed. I’d give him a 7 on a scale from 1 to 10…. I met him at an open meet-and-greet where he was signing copies of his CD. He signed my CD, and as I went to take back the CD, he kept holding it. When I asked why he wouldn’t give it back, he said, ‘Why don’t you sign something for me?’ I said, ‘Like what?’ He said, ‘I don’t know, how about a number or something?’ But he didn’t call me until months later. When he did call, it was like we spoke everyday He said, ‘Hey what’s up it’s Jared.’ I said, ‘Jared who?’ “

Hahaha, I love it. “Jared who?” God that really must have shot his ego down. What would have been more funny is if she gave him the phone number to a garbage place. He would have been so pissed. This story is funny. Something tells me she’s being generous with that 7, too. And just for the sake of putting off some hate-mail, I will admit, when Jared Leto wasn’t emo, fat, or conceited, he was cute. He looked good in Panic Room, too.

You can check out Krista’s Myspace page here. Here’s the pet below:

I’ve always hated Jared Leto. Besides the fact that he’s a pretty good actor, because, sadly, he is, he is also pretty much a big, big asshole. He denies dating people, dates pretty girls and cheats on them, expects special treatment for being famous, throws tantrums, wears eyeliner, and just generally thinks he is God’s gift to all women. But it always seems like when I admit my deep-rooted hate for Jared Leto, there’s always like, 50 people who come out of the woodwork to defend him. But this time, I’m proud to admit that I passionately dislike Jared Leto. And now Jimmy Kimmel admits his hate for him too! Page Six writes:

ADD Jimmy Kimmel to the list of people who really can’t stand eyeliner-loving Jared Leto. The late-night show host told Stuff magazine he’d rather not welcome Leto back as a guest. When asked if Kimmel ever had to hide his disdain for a guest, he chose the actor/rocker. “He was so insufferably satisfied with himself that I wanted to strangle him,” said Kimmel. It’s not hard to see why Stuff voted the comedian, “The Biggest Bad-Ass on TV.”

It’s like drinking hot cocoa on a cold day. It’s like finding a dollar in your jeans that you haven’t worn in a while. It’s like hearing you’re dismissed from jury duty. It’s like knowing OJ Simpson’s book won’t be published. THAT is how great it is to know other people hate Jared Leto as much as I do.

Do YOU hate Jared Leto??