So, Ryan Seacrest just played a song called Dramatic on his radio show. It was a duet featuring Heidi Montag and Britney Spears. Isn’t that, uh, interesting? Britney can’t sing; Heidi can’t sing, and they’re both C-List celebrities (now) so I’m not sure how anyone thought this might be a good idea. CLICK HERE to listen to it.

I bet Ryan Seacrest hits play, leans back in his chair, and just laughs at all these idiots. I bet he hates half the famous people he talks to. How couldn’t you? I’m sure it was hard enough for him to fake like Heidi’s new song and now he has to fake liking this shit?! Please, give the poor guy a break.

I didn’t know you could use the phrase “blow your mind” in a bad way but apparently you can. Spencer Pratt was overheard running his mouth about how Heidi’s new music is going to blow our minds but he must mean in a bad way because Heidi’s music is complete shit. He must mean its going to blow our brain through our ears and make our skull explode or something. Truthfully, her music is terrible. Heidi Montag is not a musician and she needs to come to that reality. Hell, she isn’t even a performer! Britney can’t sing but at least she can dance and whatnot. Heidi is just pathetic. She needs to start being friend with Lauren Conrad again so she can mooch of someone that at least is famous for something legit (clothing line) instead of being famous for being a douche bag (Spencer Pratt). Here’s what douche bag Pratt said about Heidi’s new music:

“When people hear what we have in the bank, it’s gonna blow their minds,” her manager-beau boasted. “Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming – they’re gonna sell 10-million plus.”

WTF are diamond records? Heidi’s album is gonna be so crappy that Hollister and Abercrombie will be slipping her CD to people who buy over $10 worth of stuff. So true! I’m just going to set my TiVo to record “Best Week Ever” for the next couple of months because I love it when they slam on Heidi and Spencer. And I CANNOT wait to hear what Spencer has to say once all of Heidi’s crap fails miserably. It’s going to be someone. else’s fault. You watch.

 

I would put up part of the interview that Heidi gave to Maxim, but I can only handle so much Heidi in one sitting. It was a toss up: would I rather read what her annoying ass says or look at her fake face and body? Well, neither, to be honest. But I know there are some people out there that actually like Heidi. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because they are Lauren haters. Either way, here are pictures of Heidi Montag in February’s Maxim Magazine. If Maxim is just putting ANYONE in their magazine, they might as well give me a call. Looks like fun!

It wasn’t too long ago that the fakeness of The Hills was exposed by my friend Nick over at Celebslam and since then, it seems like they are getting sloppy trying to fake it. I mean, the news came out that Heidi and Spencer held a casting call for people to be in their wedding. Actually, now that I think about that, they may just need to do that because they don’t have any friends. That could actually be real. But other than that, Lauren had a staged date and they were caught re-shooting several “real” scenes. Tisk, tisk MTV! But now, something bigger than all of the above has surfaced. Heidi and Lauren may actually be friends. This is bad for The Hills because I can safely say I think a lot of college girls watch that show JUST for the unfolding drama and if it’s not real, then why watch? Star Magazine reports:

“They were laughing, hugging and being very affectionate with one another. There were no MTV cameras around. This seemed like the real deal. I saw Heidi coming to visit Lauren at her apartment without her fiancé Spencer Pratt.”

I’ve always had an inkling that this whole show was a complete and utter sham. This inkling I have started when Laguna Beach aired and that crap was faker than fake. I mean, faker than Pamela Anderson’s marriage to Rick Salomon. Now thats fake, people! Now that Lauren and Heidi are “friends” again I am sure Heidi and Spencer will break up. It’s almost so fake that you actually have to roll your eyes as you read this. AMIRITE?!

I have yet to see any good celebrity Halloween costumes, but I figured that. Above is Heidi Montag and her boyfriend Spencer Pratt. I guess he’s Spiderman and she’s some sort of mermaid. Their costumes are generic and his doesn’t even fit. What the hell! I expect more out of celebrities cause I know they can afford it and I know they want attention so why not show off?! The thumbnails are typical slutty costumes that you’d expect the typical slutty girls to wear. Aubrey O’Day is a slutty football player, Paris Hilton (two pictures) is weird/slutty Alice in Wonderland and a skanky sailor, and Teri Hatcher, who has the most creative costume so far, is The Queen of Hearts. Her daughter was Alice. Cute!

Yesterday, TMZ reported that both Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag got their blogs hacked, but they weren’t sure who did it. Both of the blogs featured a post saying “We made up the Lauren sex tape rumors.” Well, I went to their blogs this morning, with the intention of just making fun of them, and started reading the posts. Are they complete idiots? They may have gotten rid of the post about the sex tape, but a lot of their other posts are still hacked. And actually, I like their blogs better with all this hack action. It’s funny! Click the thumbnails to enlarge the screen shots of Spencer and Heidi’s blogs. My favorite hacked entry in the 5th thumbnail, here’s what it says:

“CLICK HERE to view the usmagazine.com article about how some prankster is registering for $425 Tiffany & Co. silver salt and pepper shakers in Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s name and the hundreds of responses. Okay okay, we had our friend be the “prankster” so that we could call usmagazine and sell this story to them. SO WHAT, you would do it too if you weren’t as famous as Lauren and desperately wanted attention!”

Funny because it’s all true! I sort of wish these idiots got hacked more often because their new posts are way better than the real ones! Doesn’t just looking at Spencer Pratt make you want to take a shower? And isn’t Heidi just a little too pathetic? I mean, I could stand a little pathetic but she’s on a whole new level! Yuck!