Remember at the beginning of January when I wrote about Marshall Mathers, aka Slim Shady, aka Eminem getting fat?? Well I guess Slim didn’t like hearing he was having health problems because of his weight so now he’s getting in shape. Isn’t that great? Oh God I simply could not care any less. That’s the truth. Eminem could balloon up to Aretha Franklin‘s size and I just wouldn’t care. He manages to slip under my care radar because he’s just such a typical white person who thinks he’s black. He’s just him and that is the reason I simply don’t care about him. NONETHELESS…
For those of you who are Eminem fans, it may make you happy to know that he has been in the studio with Dr. Dre laying down some new tracks. I’m sure a lot of weed smoking and shit talking has gone down, too, but they’re also supposedly writing songs. Doesn’t it seem like if Eminem comes out with a new album it will be a comeback album? Seems like the last time he did anything decent was all his guest spots on 50 Cent’s older album about 3 years ago. I don’t know. Anyway–keep your eye out for a skinny Slim.

White rapper Eminem, real name Marshall Mathers, who also goes by Slim Shady, has apparently gotten fat. See how that’s ironic? Because he’s goes by Slim but now he’s fat.. get it?! Okay it’s funny but not that funny. I guess if you care about Eminem then this news will mean more to you. Me, myself? I’m not really a front-row fan of his, so I’m not caring too much. But for you bleached-buzzcuts out there, here’s the scoop on Slim:

Eminem was rushed to a Detroit-hospital for a serious heart condition and severe pneumonia.  Sources say that Eminem now weighs over 200 pounds, which is probably making that heart condition worse. I can’t picture him sick or fat, but I guess if you’d have asked me 7 years ago if I could picture Britney crazy and fat I’d have said no to that, too.

Eminem’s people had this statement to release: Eminem ‘s publicist told TMZ: “Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor’s care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home.”

I hope he gets better because, well, why not?

Eminem has always been a douche bag in my book. I’m really not that fond of rap music anyway, because it truly brings nothing good to the table. It’s usually all about shooting, murder, and ho’s. But Eminem is the worst, I think. Because talking about wanting to kill your wife, how much you hate your mom… what can be worse than those two things? And yet people praise him for his genious. He hates gay people, he wants to murder the woman who gave birth to his daughter, and the woman who gave birth to him means nothing to him. Right. This man is a genious. But Eminem has proved to be even more of an idiot now. Ever since ex-wife Kim went on Howard Stern and deflated Eminems, real name Marshall Mathers, manhood, Eminem is pissed off. He is taking her to court to try and stop her from badmouthing him. Apparently all this bad mouthing is bad for their 11-year old daughter. The motion says:

“For girls in the 11 to 14 age range, personal embarrassment is one of their most powerful and painful emotions. If by some chance the child missed a particularly pungent insult about her father by her mother, it is all but certain that her friends and her friends parents are aware of it and that it will be shared with her.”

“This Court must enter an order to protect the child from further harm by requiring that (Kim) desist from any further behavior likely to expose the minor child to humiliation and hostility.”

Yes, because going on Howard Stern and saying he’s bad in the sack is just as bad as writing multiple songs about slitting your wife’s throat. Yep. Totally agree with you, Em! Here’s an excerpt from just ONE of his songs that is bashing Kim. Wonder what the daughter would say is worse, this song or what Kim has been saying. (And this song isn’t even that bad!)

Sit down bitch, If you move again I’ll beat the shit out of you

Get the f*ck away from me, don’t touch me

I hate you! I hate you! (Source)

What do you think is worse? What Kim has said, or what Eminem has said? Keep in mind this is just ONE of the many songs he’s totally smashed Kim in.