The Hollywood Reporter has released a list of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood and I’ve got to say that I’m pretty surprised. I think half of the ladies on the list aren’t good actresses and that they make crappy movies. But I guess that doesn’t change their paycheck, does it? Here’s the list:

1. Reese Witherspoon – $15 to $20 million per pic
2. Angelina Jolie – $15 to $20 million (made only $8 million for Beowulf)
3. Cameron Diaz – $15 million
4. Nicole Kidman – $10 to $15 million
5. Renee Zellweger – $10 to $15 million
6. Sandra Bullock – $10 to $15 million
7. Julia Roberts – $10 to $15 million
8. Drew Barrymore – $10 to $12 million
9. Jodie Foster – $10 to $12 million
10. Halle Berry – $10 million

Don’t get me wrong, I love Reese Witherspoon but I can’t believe she makes that much. It’s a little bonkers. And Jodie Foster?! When is the last time she made a movie? Halle Berry has been making shitty movies since she won an Oscar and Drew Barrymore has a bad track record, too. I can’t believe these ladies make so much and some are so undeserving. I’m jealous, though, nonetheless!

Jessica Simpson and Justin Timberlake have nothing on their exes! It seems that the most unlikely two of the bunch are now together. Cameron Diaz, who dated Justin Timberlake for a couple of years, and John Mayer, who dated Jessica Simpson on-and-off for some months, are now dating. Sources say they were spotted at Indochine earlier this month, getting quite cozy with each other.

“People did double takes,” an eyewitness tells Us Weekly of the pair, who talked, smiled and giggled endlessly.

“It was cute, like they were just beginning dating.”

Aren’t these two like, thirty years old or something? This giggly, canoodling crap is getting old. I think they should just go off to Vegas and get married. Then try and make it work. Spare us all these “secret” meetings and “secret” pictures and just take the plunge. I’m kind of sick of Hollywood right now, if you can’t tell. Sources say that Cameron likes John a lot so far. (NOW I can sleep at night.)

“She likes everything about him so far,” says the Diaz source. “He’s wicked-smart, socially aware and into politics and the environment. But it’s very new.”

What the hell does wicked-smart mean? He can’t just be smart, he’s got to be wicked-smart? John Mayer is a politics pusher and that annoys me, too. Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Scarlett Johansson, Cameron Diaz, Criss Angel, John Mayer, Jessica Simpson, and Jared Leto all need to live on a deserted island together. The world might be less annoying that way.

(Edit: I am currently listening to Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River” while feeling horribly sad for all these rich celebrities who are cursed with being beautiful and alone.)

(Edit 2: Please pick up on how extremely sarcastic the first edit was supposed to be.)

Why is Us Weekly always making famous women out to be pathetic? I mean, when Nick and Jessica got divorced, they seemed to slam Jessica (maybe rightfully so) a little harder than Nick. And ever since Jennifer and Brad have been divorced, they’ve praised Brad continually for everything he’s done and drug Jennifer through the mud every chance they get. I don’t know if the writers are uptight, jealous women who hate everyone prettier than them, or if they are men and they love cat fights. Either way, I’m kind of getting sick of it.

This magazine cover features Jessica Simpson, Cameron Diaz, and Jennifer Aniston. Apparently, everyone these three women meet are just wayy to self-absorbed to be “the one.” Although I am sick of Us Weekly always ragging on single women, I’ve got to say this cover is ridiculous for another reason.

Have they ever thought that maybe these women are single because they are conceited, overbearing, uptight bitches with bad attitudes, overly high standards and extremely low morals? Maybe they are single because of them.. not because of everyone else. Hey, just a thought.

Here’s a quote from Cameron Diaz, who is currently on tour promoting the new Shrek movie where her ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, is also on tour promoting. JT is a voice in the film, as well.

“We still love each other, we spent four years together so there is no reason for us not to be friends,” Cameron said “I really like it. We’re friends. It’s good to see him. It’s great having him around. We’ve not been able to sit down and have a chat yet we’ve been so busy.”

Umm, I’m thinking Cameron Diaz is going nuts. Girlfriend can’t except that Justin Timberlake just isn’t feeling her anymore. I bet Cameron has a big dart board in her house with a picture of Jessica Biel in the middle. This whole “Criss Angel” thing is just a front to try and make JT jealous. Little does she know that JT probably hasn’t even heard of Criss Angel and doesn’t give a shit!

Gotta be real honest here. Not a fan of Criss Angel. Feel like he killed the fun that was David Blaine. I like illusionists, don’t get me wrong, but Criss Angel adds so much crap that is unneeded. The emo outfits, the crying, the people he pays to act like his illusions are real, the editing… it’s all beyond the realm of whats possible and thus is beyond illusion and quite fake. It bugs and annoys.. thus, I can’t stand the guy. But to know he’d use Cameron Diaz’s name on his show last night just to peak interest and keep people from changing the channel… That is bad. Because you know these two probably aren’t in love, for one thing. Girlfriend clearly isn’t over JT. Here’s what the Angel said last night at his launch for his new season of Mindfreak:

“I’d like to dedicate this escape to my girl ‘Trouble,’ a.k.a. Cameron. I love you baby. Have a safe trip to Europe for your Shrek tour.”

Umm, I think that he used her name to be cheesy and make himself look like more of a celebrity. And Cameron was probably in her hotel, smoking pot, when her manager came in and said “Criss just said he loved you on television.” And she probably said, “Oh no. Do you think Justin saw that? Do you think he was going to ask me to get back together because if he heard that then he won’t want to get back together. He’ll think I’m taken!!!” And then she probably cried for hours, and sent harassing messages to Jessica Biel for being more talented and beautiful.

That’s just my guess though.

This could be the most ridiculous news today. I can’t say it’s the most ridiculous news ever because Screech made a sex tape, Angelina Jolie kissed her brother on the lips, Rosie O’Donnell picked a fight with Donald Trump, Hugh Grant solicited a hooker, Kate Moss got caught with drugs, and Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston. So, see, there is more highly ridiculous and stupid things out there.

But this is pretty stupid because magic ISN’T real! If you google Criss Angel tricks and go far enough down, you can watch videos of how he fakes all of his tricks, and how he pays people to act surprised.. seriously. I’m not just trying to be Debbie Downer and call him out.. he really is a big fake and it’s so silly that people think he’s cool for being a faker. Not righteous!

So anyway, somehow he tricked Cameron Diaz into thinking he’s an interesting human being and somewhat of a celebrity, because they went on a date. Yuck!

The two were in Las Vegas together. First, they had dinner at the Bellagio’s Prime steakhouse, then they went to the Mirage in Angel’s Rolls Royce for the 10:30 p.m. performance of Cirque du Soleils’s Beatles tribute LOVE.

Wait, Criss Angel has a friggin Rolls Royce?! How did he do that? Whatever, he annoys me. Cameron looks pretty rough in the picture above, huh? Fierce!