Britney Spears returned to CBS’s How I Met Your Mother Monday as Abby, the silly-vulnerable receptionist with an unrequited crush on Ted (Josh Radnor). The ratings spiked with her first appearance, so she was quickly shoehorned into this new episode.

The fact that Britney’s second guest spot really didn’t work was no fault of hers. She’s not at all bad at playing clunkily-sweetly dumb. I liked the way she tried to vent her conflicted feelings of anger and love for Ted while lying in bed and staring dreamily at the ceiling: “You know what I hate most about Ted? His stupid hair … His stupid, lame, awesome hair. It’s so stupid and awesome,” she said with a cute, singsong lilt.

But the script was an awful piece of specialty construction. Abby’s reverie occurred in a bed shared with Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), who was also feeling rejected by Ted — as a friend. His and Abby’s mutual annoyance turned them both on, so they slept together.

Then they decided to pose as a couple to annoy Ted. Then Barney carried the joke too far by proposing to Abby. Then Abby suddenly thought Barney really loved her. Then, to get out of the engagement, Barney told Abby that their romance had done the trick and now a jealous Ted did love Abby. And then Abby got this crazy love-hungry Shelley Winters-like gleam in her eye, setting up the possibility for a third guest spot.

Well, that’s a lot to cram into the subplot of a 20-odd-minute show. It would have taken me less time to type out the synopsis of Dangerous Liaisons. The twists felt arbitrary and perverse, even for a so-so sitcom, which is what HIMYM is.

It’s time for Britney to move on to her next cameo project. Ugly Betty would have been a good fit, but Lindsay Lohan is already there. –Tom Gliatto

Britney Spears plans to attend a hearing Tuesday in a Los Angeles family court, a court spokesman confirms.

“It’s a hearing to discuss the status of her case,” said court rep Allan Parachini.

Asked if her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, would show, his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan replied, “Kevin has been at every important hearing. I view Tuesday as an important hearing.”

Spears, 26, returned to Los Angeles Sunday night after flying to Kentwood, La., to attend a baby shower for her expectant 17-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn, over the weekend.

Britney currently has monitored visitation rights with her sons, Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1, several times a week, but no overnight privileges.

Recently, a report was completed by the ex-couple’s child custody evaluator, which could heavily influence future visitation arrangements.

The pop star’s father, Jamie, and a lawyer remain in legal control of her affairs until a July 31 hearing.

PEOPLE 

Seriously? I mean, they can’t be serious about this cover… are they? Because Britney looks chubbier on this cover than she has on any other cover for the last year. Her bikini isn’t helping–it’s about 20 sizes too small. But honestly this is just embarrassing for Britney. She probably IS trying to lose weight and this joke cover isn’t helping. It’s only making people (like me) point out how chubby she actually is.

P.S. Workout secrets? Seriously?

You know, Moby should really be sensitive to people’s feelings a lot more. Doesn’t he remember how he felt when Eminem made him the center of many vicious and hateful attacks and remarks? He seemed like that really bothered him, too, and now he’s slamming on Britney Spears. Whats worse is that he’s attacking her in a sarcastic, asshole type of way. Not that I ever liked Moby or cared about him but now I seriously dislike him. Here’s what he said:

“She’s like this TENNESSEE WILLIAMS tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat.”

Jerk! And he says this just as Britney is really starting to show signs that she’s pulling it together. Boycott Moby! Support Britney! If we don’t support her, after all that has happened to her, who will? Not the industry, obviously!

Britney Spears is a dirty grease monkey with horrible fashion taste so I dont know why anyone would want to look like her. Plus, she’s going broke so you know the prices are going to be ridiculously jacked up and beyond unreasonable. I wouldn’t buy it. Hell, I wouldn’t buy clothes from any celebrity line because they’re rich enough without my money, you know?

Britney Spears may soon be releasing her own clothing line — if she seals a deal with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier. “I have known Britney for a long time — she is a good friend of mine,” Audigier tells Star. “We’re talking about working together, designing a line of clothing.”

Britney was at Ed Hardy’s corporate offices in Culver City, California on Thursday to meet with Audigier and while she was there she picked out some Ed Hardy duds she liked. “Britney came in to talk with Christian about working on a line together,” Ed Hardy’s Marissa McMillion tells Star. “She was really nice to everyone in the office. Her mom was with her and Britney asked us to send some clothes to her sister Jamie Lynn for her birthday tomorrow (April 4).

That Britney! Always going to be trashy at heart. Wanting them to send her sister free clothes as her “gift” to her. Tacky. Why doesn’t she just give her the dirty clothes off her back? Wouldn’t surprise me if she did.

Perfect! The man who made Britney Spears the mega-star that she once was is coming back into her life. Larry Rudolph will once again manager the career of Britney, thanks to her daddy Jamie Spears. This is good news. I hope Larry can undo some of the damage that Britney’s done but if he can’t, I don’t blame him in the slightest!

Though the pair had parted company a year ago, sources confirm exclusively to OK! that the “Toxic” songstress has once again been taken under Larry’s wing.

Larry and Brit share a long and bumpy history. He was the visionary who discovered the young star Britney and shepherded her career from teen pop tart to international superstar. And when her life began to spiral dangerously out of control in the weeks and months following her Oct. 2006 divorce from Kevin Federline, it was Larry who Britney’s parents, Jamie and Lynne Spears, turned to for help getting her into rehab.

After her brief stint at the Promises clinic in Malibu, Brit went public with her ill-feelings toward Larry, chastising him on camera in a bizarre, disjointed rant, for what she viewed as siding with her folks against her.

However, Brit’s dad has always been open about his positive feelings toward Larry, even publicly thanking Larry for his efforts. And now Jamie, who has continued to think the world of Larry both as a manager and as a friend who has Britney’s best interests at heart, has finally convinced Britney to let him take over the reins of her recently resurgent career.

I’m beginning to think NO ONE has Britney’s best interests at heart! Maybe Britney’s dad but even then I think the money he’s getting for running her life isn’t hurting! Anyway, I guess I hope it works out. I just don’t wanna see Britney get screwed anymore!