Jane Magazine must be running out of good celebrities to interview, so they had to do one with conceited jerk Avril Lavigne. Primarily the interview was about her marriage to Deryck Whibley. (Yeah, that’s right, he spells his name like that. It’s terrible, I know.)

On her wedding to Deryck:

“I wanted to be like, ‘Oh, let’s totally have a rock ‘n’ roll, goth wedding.’ But at the same time I was like, ‘I’ve been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a little girl. I have to wear the white dress.’ I wanted to be a princess, okay?” Avril says, laughing. “People thought I would have done, like, some black wedding dress, and yeah, I would have. But at the same time I was thinking about our pictures, and I wanted—like, that’s why I have this ring—I wanted to be in style.” She holds up the hugest Barbie-dream-bauble diamond ring ever. “It’s a classic. I didn’t want to be, like, 20 years later, ‘Oh, why did I wear my hair like that? It’s not cool now.’”

On Deryck doing drugs:

“He doesn’t do drugs,” Avril jumps in. “Clearly, he used to, because he talked about it, but I wouldn’t be with someone who did, and I made that very clear to him when we first started dating. I’ve never done coke in my life, and I’m proud of that. Oh my God! I could never. I am 100 percent against drugs.”

On Deryck cheating with groupies:

“No, we have a really good, strong relationship. There’s a lot of trust. I know how much I mean to him, and…” Avril pauses, then smiles and says, “I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

Umm, just in case you skimmed the article let me re-cap for you. “I’M THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO HIM.”

Avril Lavigne, for some odd chance that you might find this fabulous site on the internet, I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT THE BEST THING THAT’S HAPPENED TO ANYBODY, ANYWHERE, EVER.

Kthx!