Remember how yesterday Jennifer Love Hewitt was in the news for getting engaged to her long-time boyfriend Ross McCall? Well, that was great, wasn’t it? And now today she’s in the news because apparently she’s recently gone to the beach. I’m all for being happy with yourself, inside and out, and all that great stuff, but does she know she should be wearing a one-piece swimsuit and a wrap? Honestly, I haven’t the best body but I also don’t flaunt it. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m learning how to use photoshop and when I saw this picture of JLH, I thought I should try and make it look “Hollywood” so I did. It’s not that great of a job, but its crazy what a program can do, isn’t it? It makes anyone look anyway they want. I feel sorry for JLH because she’s a has been and she can’t come to terms with it. Plus, I am being mean to her right now and she could be reading. Sorry! I loved I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, though, JLH!

Jennifer Love Hewitt Beach Pictures

The Hollywood Reporter has released a list of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood and I’ve got to say that I’m pretty surprised. I think half of the ladies on the list aren’t good actresses and that they make crappy movies. But I guess that doesn’t change their paycheck, does it? Here’s the list:

1. Reese Witherspoon - $15 to $20 million per pic
2. Angelina Jolie - $15 to $20 million (made only $8 million for Beowulf)
3. Cameron Diaz - $15 million
4. Nicole Kidman - $10 to $15 million
5. Renee Zellweger - $10 to $15 million
6. Sandra Bullock - $10 to $15 million
7. Julia Roberts - $10 to $15 million
8. Drew Barrymore - $10 to $12 million
9. Jodie Foster - $10 to $12 million
10. Halle Berry - $10 million

Don’t get me wrong, I love Reese Witherspoon but I can’t believe she makes that much. It’s a little bonkers. And Jodie Foster?! When is the last time she made a movie? Halle Berry has been making shitty movies since she won an Oscar and Drew Barrymore has a bad track record, too. I can’t believe these ladies make so much and some are so undeserving. I’m jealous, though, nonetheless!

You know what, when I have kids I expect they’ll be pretty spoiled. I mean, I was spoiled and my sister was and that’s pretty much how my family does things. But if, at the time I have my kids, I happen to be a millionaire, I don’t see me buying abnormally expensive things for the kids, you know? They’d be more spoiled, granted, but they wouldn’t have, say, oh.. shoes that cost $3,000! Suri Cruise, on the other hand, is getting spoiled in the most lavish ways. OK! reports:

As every leading lady in Hollywood already knows, the must-have fashion accessory for A-list feet is a pair of custom-made shoes by Christian Louboutin, who for $2,500 will create a mold of your foot to hand-craft footwear to your exact specifications — for an additional charge of $500 to $5,000 a pair.

But OK! has learned it’s not just the fashion-savvy adults of Tinseltown who’ve stepped into molds for Louboutin — even little Suri Cruise, at all of 18 months, has gone through the process.

A source close to the Cruise clan reveals to OK! that Suri’s mom Katie Holmes has already had her custom mold made (as has, ironically, Tom Cruise’s ex-wife Nicole Kidman), and come Christmas, thanks to executives at the company, so will Suri!

“She’ll be the youngest client,” a source tells OK!.

Okay, I can see Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman spending a load of cash getting custom shoes made but making shoes for a baby? She’s going to grow out of them in a month or two, anyway! Seriously. That’s just silly. But then again, we are talking about Tom Cruise!

Petra Nemcova just being hot in a black leather jacket *Bastardly* 

Stacy Kiebler and animal print are a good combination (Site NSFW) *Drunken Stepfather*

Rihanna in FHM UK 2008 *ICYDK* 

Tara Reid is hosting a Hooker Ball, isn’t that perfect? *HollywoodBackwash* 

Video of Julia Roberts chasing down the paps in a mad frenzy *Yeeeah!* 

InTouch Weekly has put together a lame list of the 10 Most Shocking Hollywood Secrets and none of them are shocking and only half of them should be considered “secrets” but whatever. The only one that jumped out at me was the blurb about Charlize Theron and even then it was more sad than shocking.

On June 21, 1991, Charlize Theron’s dad returned to their South African home after a long night of drinking. “My dad had a disease,” Charlize, 32, says. “He was an alcoholic.” Charlize says her dad never physically harmed her, but admits “he was a verbal abuser.” So when he fired a shotgun into the then 15-year-old’s bedroom, her mom, Gerda, shot and killed her husband. The court ruled it self-defense. “If my daughter was in the same situation, I’d do the same thing,” admits Charlize.

That’s some pretty heavy stuff. If you’re interested in the rest of the secrets, here they are: Reese Witherspoon’s brother was arrested for sexual battery, Gavin Rossdale has a secret love child with an ex,  Michelle Williams’ dad faces tax evasion charges, Woody Harrelson’s dad is a convicted hit man, Sara Evans claimed her husband had kinky sex fetishes, Tobey Maguire’s dad was a bank robber (and he used to be on Walker, Texas Ranger), Orlando Bloom didn’t know his real father, Halle Berry had an abusive daddy, and Nicole Richie’s real daddy was in Lionel Richie’s band. Interesting crap, huh? I didn’t think so.

Pictures of Ashley Tisdale in a fug outfit looking fug and being talentless *Bastardly*

Grey’s Anatomy to be narrated by Dr. Bailey starting Episode 11 next season *ICYDK* 

Rachel Bilson’s booty in some weird white jeans (Site NSFW) *Drunken Stepfather* 

Debbie Gibson got “The Owen Wilson” number done on her nose. Ugly! *DListed* 

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal join the Mile High Club *Yeeeah!* 

Actress (and I use that word loosely because she doesn’t really do that much and when she does its less than desirable) Jennifer Love Hewitt is engaged to get married to her long-time gold-digger boyfriend. Doesn’t he know that if he’s looking for a sugar mama then he needs to hook up with a better actress? Duh, that’s rule number 1 of the “Finding a Sugar Mama” handbook. This guy really needs to meet Howard K. Stern and learn how it’s done!  The two have no date set yet.

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s rep confirms exclusively to Usmagazine.com that Hewitt, 28, and boyfriend, Scottish actor Ross McCall, 32, are engaged to be married.

“They got engaged last week,” her rep tells Us. The couple is currently vacationing in Hawaii.

Us has learned that the antique engagement ring has been in Ross’ family for over 100 years.

Of course he proposed with an “antique” ring. Homeboy is too poor for a real Tiffany’s ring! Jennifer will probably end up buying her own ring just like Britney Spears did when she married Kevin Federline. Ha ha, I may not be rich and famous but at least I’m not pathetic!

I admit, the cover of this Us Weekly is pretty entertaining. I mean, the look on Jessica Simpson’s face is priceless. But is it true? I don’t think we’ll ever really know if Us Weekly has run a cover that ended up being fully true, but we can always make our assumptions, right?

I bet Jessica Simpson broke up with Nick Lachey because the relationship was getting hard and she thought she’d rather be single and famous than famous and in a distressed relationship. She was at her peak of popularity when she divorced Nick Lachey but because she pretty much lacks any real talent, she’s seriously gone down hill. I mean, no one likes her music and her “little silly ol’ me” routine is played out! She’s sort of pretty but for the most part she’s just boring.

Not only do I not care about her career but I don’t care who she dates. I must say, though, I don’t really give a crap about Nick Lachey either. So that brings me to the question: Why is Us Weekly running a story about these two? I really think nobody gives a crap about them anymore. Do you care?

Oh, and P.S. Isn’t that headline “Brit caught shoplifting!” the most hilarious thing ever? It’s probably true! Only in the true Brit spirit she was probably caught shoplifting burritos and cookies!

I haven’t got much for the Real Housewives update today because the episode last night was so forgettable. I mean, the show is getting boring really quickly. I almost forgot it was on last night, even. But the underlying theme throughout all of these episodes so far has been this: Vicki is out of control and unbelievably annoying, Tamra is jealous of everyone else and very conceited (yet oddly enough she’s not that good looking), and the rest of the ladies are boring and typical. I really like Jeana but I’d like to see her not be friends with Vicki and meet a hot guy. I want to see more of the kids, because they create a lot of tension for the adults. Also, I’m tired of seeing George and Lauri. George just wants someone to take care of the kids and Lauri needs a sugar daddy. They need to stop pretending already! Also, I can hardly look at Megan Knickerbocker without throwing up in my mouth. Honest. I mean her teeth are rough, her hair is rough, her make up is rough and lets face it, she’s just a rough looking ugly chick with a bad attitude. I really hope the show gets better because I’m close to not watching anymore–and getting rid of my weekly updates. Seriously!

I’m kind of getting tired of Maxim making lists for everything. I mean, does anyone need to have a list of hot pregnant women? I don’t think so. Just like I didn’t think it was necessary to have a list of un-sexy women, but whatever. That’s why I don’t write for Maxim, I guess. Anyway, they came out with a list of the 9 Sexiest Pregnant Women. Why just nine I’m not sure. You’d think they’d do an even ten but they’re so fricken picky I guess they couldn’t find a tenth. I would have put Katie Price on the list as well as Demi Moore and Denise Richards but whatever. Again, this must be why I don’t write for Maxim. So here’s the list they came up with:

Monica Bellucci

Angelina Jolie
Gwen Stefani
Brooke Burke
Heidi Klum (left)
Christina Aguilera
Halle Berry
Jaime Pressly
Naomi Watts

In no way at all do I think that Halle Berry should be on that list. Or Christina Aguilera. I mean, yeah, Christina is awesome at other stuff, but as a pregnant woman, she looks like a tranny. If she went easier on the MAC makeup she may be on the list but as of right now, I don’t think she’s deserving of the spot. Who would you get rid of? Who would you add to the list?