Yep, that’s Britney’s hand clutching the top of a margarita glass. I’d recognize those half-bitten off nasty ass fingernails anywhere! (To see more pictures of Britney with her margarita in her car, visit Celebslam where Nick has his post more appropriately titled “Britney Spears is thirsty, retarded”. Truer words have not been spoken!) Anyway, just for those of you who don’t know, drinking and driving is definitely against the law. Oh and, these are pictures of Britney leaving a recording studio last night. She’s got to get all liquored up to record a song these days, huh? Sad.

Didn’t the judge just tell her she was getting tested twice a week for drugs and alcohol? What is she doing? Honestly, she needs to get some mental help that goes beyond these stupid rehab places. Girlfriend needs to visit the Dr. Phil House!

Kristin Cavallari wearing a blue bikini while shooting a movie.. wait, she’s in a movie?! *Derek Hail*

Don’t kiss Richard Gere or you’ll get arrested, that’s how SICK it is! *DListed*

Jennifer Lopez photoshopped in Arena *Celebslam*

Jennifer Garner at The Late Show with David Letterman *ICYDK*

Guess who is wearing the engagement ring? *SOW*

Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Clarissa Explains It All star Melissa Joan Hart is three months pregnant with her second child. The actress, who is married to rocker Mark Wilkerson, has a 17-month-old son named Mason with her husband. So far everything is going good in the pregnancy and according to sources close to the actress, everyone is happy.

Congratulations to Melissa and her husband!

(Image Source)

Celebrities are so lame sometimes. I hate it when they say that they don’t care about being famous. If they weren’t famous then they’d want to be, so it’s not true! They’re only saying that because they are famous and have all that crap. And Evan Rachel Wood was a cute young actress and now she totally copies Dita Von Teese. I mean, if she wants to be her own woman then DO IT and don’t copy someone else! UGH! I don’t care that she’s dating Marilyn Manson but I do care that she acts like Dita. Sad! But back to what I was originally saying. ERW is lame because now she’s saying she doesn’t give a hoot about her fame.

“I don’t care about being famous, because anyone can be famous. You can be absolutely nothing and be famous. Same thing with being beautiful. Anybody can be beautiful. And people have definitely proven that point.”

She cares, you know she does! If she didn’t care, then she’d stop trying to be Dita!! The part about doing nothing and being famous is true, though, I do have to give her that. I mean, hello, that’s totally Paris Hilton!

While people in the real world are dealing with real issues like losing their jobs, having cancer, dealing with financial struggles, and getting their children in good schools, celebrities are dealing with hardships like getting cocaine or having your cocaine stolen. With that said, Steve-O told radio show host Howard Stern that Lindsay Lohan stole cocaine from him. According to Steve-O, who I must say is probably very reliable when it comes to stealing and drugs, Lindsay Lohan was partying with him one night when she left. She came back because she left her wallet in the bathroom. She got her wallet and after she left, Steve-O said she took his bag of cocaine (what he called Boog Suge) with her. What a thief! Cocaine, clothes, what else? Her own dignity?! It’s already gone!

Don’t get me wrong, a little lipo and lift wouldn’t be a bad thing but… I wouldn’t die for it. Isn’t that a little lot superficial, tacky, and sad? I think so. But what more could you really expect from Heidi Montag? All she wants is fame and money and that’s the truth. I think it’s funny paps follow her around because really, is she even famous? I don’t think so. Anyway, Heidi talks about her surgery. I’ve summed it into this:

But surgery is a very big deal. Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

I’m not sure how boobs are worth it but whatever. Maybe in 20 years she will look back on this and realize what an idiot she really is. Who knows. Oh and, don’t take this as me being a plastic surgery hater cause I’m not. I’m into it. Just not in this way.

Paris Hilton wants to be a better person but is going about it in all the wrong ways. If you want to help Rwanda, you don’t announce you’re going there and drag a slew of paps along with you. Here’s what you do:

You go, do good and give, then come home and tell about you. Then everyone thinks differently of you. But she’s already ruined it by telling everyone she’s doing it. Sick. Paris Hilton told E! News:

“There’s so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help. I want to visit more countries where poverty and children’s issues are a big concern. I know there’s a lot of good I can do just by getting involved and bringing attention to these issues.”

Oh Paris, shut up please! I don’t think Angelina Jolie is going to find you any classier, Brad Pitt is still going to think you’re annoying, and America is still going to hate you.

Paris, there is nothing you can do (besides going away for a long, long time) that is going to change our opinions of you. Sorry!

For the last couple of months it has been an on-going rumor that newly divorced Reese Witherspoon is dating her Rendition co-star Jake Gyllenhaal. There are also rumors of Jake being in a gay relationship with a man for more than a couple of years. What to believe!?

I would like to think that Reese and Jake are together because I think Jake is way nicer of a guy that stupid Ryan Phillippe. But I’d also like to think that Jake is Reese’s girlfriend–her gay shopping and gossip buddy. I don’t know which they are but there are more stories coming out of the two being intimate lovers. E! Online reports:

“Jake and Reese were sitting by the fire all night, talking,” a fellow party guest tells me. “Everyone was talking, laughing and celebrating Rufus, but they were deep, deep in conversation. It was like there was no one else in the world.”

If you were wondering, the party they were supposedly “canoodling” at was at Carrie Fisher’s house. I don’t know if I really believe this story. I mean, I believe Carrie Fisher had a party, I believe that Reese and Jake probably went, and I believe there was a fireplace. Other than that, it’s pretty much all hear-say.

I don’t think I’d want to get in a fight with either Sharon Osbourne or Courtney Love because I think they’re pretty much both crazy and outspoken. With that said, I think it’s good that these ladies are at least sticking up for what they believe in… right?

Sharon accused Courtney of being the one who got her son, Jack, addicted to pills. Sharon said she would never speak to Courtney again, blah, blah. Now Courtney is saying that’s bull!

“I never did that. I would never give drugs to a teenager. Fuck you Sharon - as if I would ever give drugs to a teenager.”

I think Sharon is the winner here. Courtney shouldn’t say she didn’t do it because she was probably so messed up at the time she was with Jack that she can’t remember what really happened. They probably hooked up, too!

(Source)

The “many” faces of Tara Reid *I’m Not Obsessed*

Heath Ledger can’t pull his own ladies… or he’s chicken! *ICYDK* 

Hilary Duff likes to read Cosmopolitan… but why? *CityRag* 

Alyssa Milano is looking pretty HOT these days *Hollywood Tuna* 

Like Zac Efron can even play Halo 3!*DListed*